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Red Ed And I Went To See "80 For Brady" Yesterday. Here Are My Unabridged Thoughts

People think I hate Tom Brady, but the truth is, I don't. I just think that saying someone is the GOAT because of how many Super Bowls they won is beyond dumb. It takes more than QB play to win or lose a Super Bowl. For instance: 

- If Pete Carrol gives the ball to Marshawn Lynch on the goal line, the Pats lose. That was COMPLETELY out of Brady's control

- On the flip side, if David Tyree doesn't catch a ball with his helmet, the Pats beat the Giants in that SB. That was also COMPLETELY out of Brady's control 

Immediately saying Brady is the GOAT because of his rings is stupid to me. Bring up his individual accomplishments first; ya know, like playing at an MVP level until he was 75 years old. Then there's little argument, if any, of him being the GOAT. 

But of course the argument shifted from me saying it's stupid to judge individuals by team accomplishments have divulged into me "hating" Brady (I actually like Brady) and thinking he's "overrated" because none of the morons I work with have any ability to see nuance.

So because of that, they dragged me out to see 80 for Brady yesterday. Here are my thoughts on the movie:

- Jane Fonda is still a smoke (more on her in a separate blog, blogger school 101) 
- The old broads didn't have those trashbag Boston accents, poor acting
- The one old broad tried to use her cancer diagnosis to try to win SB tickets like a scumbag then lied about winning them
- The old broads completely dehumanized men by saying they were going to the SB to watch them like they were intended: "sweaty, in tight pants and on top of each other". It was a very sexist double standard
- The strap on joke didn't land at all
- Virginia Ledoux was a total hoe
- They're all drug addicts

And last, but certainly not least, Tom Brady needed an old lady's pump up speech to make the comeback against the Falcons. If he was some mythological demigod who can will his team to victory like my coworkers claim, that wouldn't be necessary.

All in all I give the movie a 0.6 on a pizza scale. It got bumped up .3 points because it was apparently based on a true story and Guy Fieri seems like the man. So if you're into a bunch of menopausal wannnabe cougars that slip in puddles of their own wetness every time they walk into a room that has a Tom Brady cardboard cutout, this movie is for you. 

We'll break it down more on Stool Scenes this week. Subscribe!