Those Fuckin Posers In New York City Blatantly Copied Chicago's "Bean"

Tribeca Citizen - The long awaited Bean by sculptor Anish Kapoor will be fully revealed at 56 Leonard today — the scaffolding and barriers should be all gone by 11a. As of yesterday the plywood walls were down and they were polishing away. (I thought they might be using Windex, which gave me the giggles, but it’s water.) And while I have been calling it The Bean all this time, we may soon be corrected: a dedication and naming ceremony will take place in the coming months.

The monumental (and significant) sculpture — it’s 48 feet long, 19 feet tall and 40 tons — has been under construction at the Jenga building since February 2019. The sculptor’s team installed the first of 45 sections back in November 2019. And while things seemed to be chugging along (the sections were stored locally and installed piece by piece), covid put a halt on all of it. It remained half finished until September 2021, when the team was able to travel from the UK to get the job done.

A statement from Kapoor himself: “The city can feel frenetic, fast and hard, imposing architecture, concrete, noise. My work, at 56 Leonard Street, proposes a form that though made of stainless steel is also soft and ephemeral. Mirrors cause us to pause, to be absorbed and pulled in a way that disrupts time, slows it down perhaps; it’s a material that creates a new kind of immaterial space.”

Hey Anish, you fucking slut! Loyalty. Monogamy. The phrase "Dance With The One Who Brought You." You ever heard of it? 

Chicago let you construct your little contraption back in 2004 in the crown jewel park of downtown, right on the Magnificent Mile. Some might argue we put you on the map.

And this is how you repay us? 

By whoring yourself out to the filthiest, sleaziest, cesspool in the country?

For shame Anish. For shame.

I, and many other Chicagoans that I think I speak for here, use to marvel at your work of art. We'd stare in amazement at it, standing in awe at the perfect symmetry. The polish. How something so simple could also be so complex. You dazzled our senses with your modernistic take on such a basic shape, juxtaposed in front of the most beautiful skyline in the country.

I have lost count how many times I have asked people I know in design, engineering, and art how the hell you built the thing with no seams. Nobody knows.

And know what? 

Now nobody cares.

I could give a flying fuck how this thing weighs 40 tons and is 48 feet long by 19 feet high anymore. Know why? Because its now a dime a dozen (pair). Just like everything else in that rat-infested shithole, New York. 

I know that the sculpture has not officially been named yet but a naming ceremony will happen in the next few months.

God help you if you name this thing "Cloudgate 2.0" or some shit that's an even bigger slap in the face to Chicago.