The Thong Truly Is One Of Mankind's Greatest Inventions
Mankind has invented some incredible things since we started our reign on this planet. Off the top of my head we've got the automobile, fire, the computer, the telephone, and…. the thong.
While the thong isn't a necessity, it sure as hell has become one spectacular luxury in today's world. Allow me to explain.
Quick note, how about Flea at 60 years old just hanging out at the beach still having smokes eat out of the palm of his hand? Purple hair, terrible teeth, doesn't matter when you're one of the founding members of the RHCP. What a boss.
Back to my research.
The thong has brought thorough entertainment to our eyeballs for decades. The buck does not stop there however, with this article of clothing holding true special powers within the game of baseball. While it's been known among Yankee fans for years that Jason Giambi's magic golden thong had an unbreakable spell attached to it, we got confirmation last night that Derek Jeter required its magic at least once. Hearing Jetes talking about this is unreal.
Yup, I turned this blog into something about the Yankees
*ducks to avoid tomato flying in from the crowd
Okay, well does it help that Rita Ora is also a fan of the thong?
Any how, yeah that golden thong Giambi had back in the day had actual special powers. Not some BS David Blaine tries to pull off behind smoke and mirrors. This ain't some Penn & Teller act. If you needed a hit, the thong came through. Even the likes of Jeter, a guy who came off as serious and professional as an athlete can get, sucked up his pride and wore the damn thing to snap his 0 for 32 streak. The result? A first pitch home run. That's true magic.
P.S. How do we get this thing back in operation? Lord knows if Aaron Hicks, Josh Donaldson, and/or IKF are getting consistent playing time in 2023 we're gonna need some magic golden thongs.