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Elon Musk Is About to Silence the Haters By Pivoting Twitter To “The Everything App”

Remember when the haters said Twitter wouldn’t last? That Elon’s crazy ass couldn’t keep it alive with a skeleton crew?

Well, it was all part of his plan, it appears. While most of us were trying to figure out what the fuck a Mastodon is, this mf’er was in the lab COOKING.

Twitter looks like it wants to test the mobile payment waters. Something Elon knows a thing or two about.

Benzinga - Musk is looking to add payments to Twitter and has begun applying for licenses across the U.S., reported the Financial Times. Esther Crawford, one of Musk's trusted lieutenants at Twitter, is reportedly working with a small team on the architecture needed to allow payments on the platform. She has been appointed as chief executive of Twitter Payments by Musk, it added.

The team is working on devising a vault for storing and protecting user data collected by the system, the report said. Twitter is also making progress with the regulatory checks needed for launching a payment service, it added. The company registered with the U.S. Treasury as a payments processor in November, FT said, citing a regulatory filing.

It appears that Elon is in the early stages of a pivot at Twitter... from a shitposting site to an "everything app"… with a side of shitposting. Elon’s mentioned before that he’s interested in building something similar to China’s WeChat… which offers messaging, social media, payments… you name it. Hopefully Twitter’s version comes standard with less government surveillance.

The Lon Father has mentioned “X” before…

Elon still owns It was the payment platform that he used to help build PayPal. And he actually wanted to keep the name… but the rest of the big brains over at PayPal decided that sounded too much like a porn site. Fair point. 

It could be a while before you’re paying for drugs via Twitter, though. The regulatory process could take as long as a year. And who knows how long the tech will take.

In the meantime, shitcoiners are bulled up, hoping that the news means Elon will allow Twitter users to swap crypto. It probably shouldn’t come as a surprise that Dogecoin MOONED on the news that Elon was exploring payments via Twitter.

For Elon’s sake let’s hope this goes better than Meta’s pathetic attempt at creating a crypto ecosystem. RIP Libra (or Diem, or whatever the fuck it was actually called).

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