An Australian Chick Is Going Viral On TikTok For Saying We Should Have "Adults Only Suburbs"

Look, this chick knows she's an asshole. It says it right there in the caption of this video: "I know I'm evil..." 

Well here's the thing, Baby Soja - you may be evil, but you're also completely correct. Sure you're an asshole, but anyone with a normal, fully functioning brain agrees with you. 

Kids stink. 

Last week, I was in the Dominican Republic. To get home, I had to fly south to Panama City, Panama for a couple hour layover. The flight from Panama City to Chicago was about 5 hours and there was this little shitbag baby crying the entire way home. ENTIRE way. There was no wifi on that flight so I couldn't listen to music or Netflix. Just had to sit there and take it. I just spent the last 6-7 days dealing with both food poisoning and a respiratory infection and that flight home was the ultimate test of wills. 

No, I didn't succumb to my desire to open up the emergency hatch and chuck that baby out of it. Because I'm an adult and that would be a childish move. I just sat there and took it like the bitch I am. That doesn't mean I didn't voice my displeasure via text message once I landed though. That'll show that dickhead baby!!! 

And it's all because kids ruin everything. 

They're the worst things on earth. As a 34 year old most of my idiotic friends fell victim to societal pressures by getting married and having kids and all that over the last 5-7 years. Not only did they ruin their own lives, they ruined my life too. Just once would I like to be able to hit up the fellas with an invite to the saloons without receiving a response about how they have to take care of their kids and go to their in laws and shit. Is that too much to ask?

I don't think so. Sure, a childless utopia may be too farfetched. But one can dream. 

So yeah, I'm all in for the adults only suburb. In fact, don't even start by allowing anyone 18+ to visit or reside there. Start it at like...28. As far as I'm concerned, anyone who is less than 28 is a child in my eyes, and there is a strict no children allowed policy at this suburb. 

Also, we will name it Davetown after me, a beacon of adulthood.