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A Man Achieves Lottery Winner Perfection by Spending All $50 Million, Getting Divorced, Then Dropping Dead

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First of all, thanks for clicking. Because personally, I hate lottery stories. I grew up around a lot of habitual lottery players. And had an after school job for a while ringing the register at a neighborhood convenience store (it was a dream, and I made it come true), so I've heard enough of them that I've developed a Spidey Sense that alerts me when one is coming. All it takes is for someone to start in with, "My number is 4-1-2-7 exact order. It came up 4-2--" and my defense mechanisms kick in. I can slow my heart rate down to almost nothing and then escape in the ambulance after I'm declared dead at the scene. I highly recommend it. And I say this as someone who personally knows not one but three people who've hit $1 million scratch tickets. 

So I sincerely appreciate you coming with me on this journey. Because finally here is a lottery story worth listening to. A feel-good tale of triumph, good fortune, wisdom, and the indomitable human spirit that we can all learn a lesson from, lottery players and non-lottery people alike:

Source - A EuroMillions jackpot winner burned through his fortune at a rate of £100,000 a week before his death, documents show.

Colin Weir, who became Scotland's biggest lottery winner when he and wife Christine scooped £161 million in 2011, died in December 2019, aged 71.

By that time his fortune had shrunk by £40 million, the Daily Record reports.

One financial expert said: “Spending £40million in eight years takes a bit of doing.”

Colin, a former cameraman at STV, splashed out on cars and pumped money into his favourite football club, Partick Thistle. …

His garage housed four luxury cars – a vintage Bentley Arnage, worth £10,000, a £28,250 three-year-old Jaguar F-Pace SUV, a £24,000 four-year-old Mercedes Benz E Class Estate and a 2019 Mercedes Benz V Class people carrier, valued at about £35,000.

He bought a 55 per cent stake in Partick Thistle a month before he died so he could donate the club to the fans and put its future in the hands of the local community.

Colin had suffered years of ill health and he and Christine divorced last summer after 38 years of marriage.

At the time of his death, he lived in a £1.1million five-bedroom seafront home in Ayr, which he bought in June 2018 after his marriage split.

Just so we can put this in perspective, a British pound right now is worth roughly $1.25. So that 40 million pound he pissed through is equivalent to $50 million. And the 100,000 pounds per week would be $125,000, give or take.

There is winning EuroMillions, and then there is winning the jackpot of life. It's fair to say our dear, departed Colin Weir managed to do both. A less bold man might have invested some of that money. Put it into safe, reliable bond funds that return a steady yield. Maybe set up some trusts for any future grandchildren in order to preserve this generational fortune. But as they say in Scotland (probably; I don't speak Scottish), fook that. 

Instead, he put on an absolute clinic on how to spend money. They say it can't buy happiness? Maybe so. But it can buy Bentleys, Jags, Mercedes and a majority share in your favorite team. And those surely made him happy. They must. Otherwise people rich enough to afford them wouldn't keep buying them. 

But the real cliche here isn't about money and happiness. It's the one that says "You can't take it with you." (Which is also something they said to me that time I got to try on a Patriots Super Bowl ring.) Colin left it all on the great field of life. He's leaving behind nothing but a huge mortgage on a million dollar house his kids will probably have to sell. There probably won't be enough left for a proper burial. But damned, that mortician is going to have to work overtime to wipe the smile off his corpse's face. That's how you make the most of your insane, dumb luck

If I was going to find any fault in his approach, it's that he waited to get the divorce. To cite the old street joke everybody knows by now:

A guy comes home and says to his wife, "I just won the lottery! 50 million bucks! Grab your suitcase and packing!"

"This is amazing! Where are we going? Should I pack my summer stuff or my winter stuff?"

"Pack everything! I'm giving you one hour to get the fuck out my house!" 

Giphy Images.

I guess he loved her seven out of his final eight years worth. Fine. It's a beautiful love story I'm sure. But apart from that hiccup, he achieved absolute lottery winner perfection. Let the rest of you take inspiration from his example. Just remember that if you do, keep it to yourself. None of us wants to hear your boring story.