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Lighten the Fuck Up! Marie Was Worried About the Size of Her Vagina...

LUTFI_URE. Getty Images.

Marie was worried about the size of her vagina, so she had a heart-to-heart with her mother…

"When I marry Raymond, Ma, and he sees how big I am down there, he'll immediately have our marriage annulled…"

"Nonsense!", her mother snapped, "Big vaginas run in the family, Sweetheart. You'll do what I did when I married your father. You'll go down to the market, buy some raw liver, and stuff it in there. Trust me, he'll never know the difference…"

On her wedding night, Marie stuffed herself full of raw liver, and Raymond had the time of his life. After having incredible sex during their honeymoon, Marie was confident the size of her vagina wasn't gonna be a problem.

After returning from their honeymoon, the newlyweds continued having incredible sex. On the morning of his first day back at work, while Marie lay sound asleep, Raymond left a loving note on her nightstand…

"My Darling Marie, holding off a full year to consummate our relationship was difficult, but worth the wait. I want to make you happy, and I'll work hard so I can buy you a home with a beautiful yard and a white picket fence. We'll have lots of children together and a dog, if that's okay with you. I had to go to work today, but I'll be home by 5:00 o'clock, and in your loving arms, where I most want to be. I love you so much, Marie! 

P.S. Your cunt's soaking in the kitchen sink."

RIP Marty Funkhouser (Bob Einstein)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968! This is LTFU joke #149!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

What more can I say? Buy some LTFU Merch!