OpEd: We Need Zamboni Driving Simulators In 2023
I'll be honest, I didn't even know this existed. I never got around to playing NHL 2k10. But now that I've seen it? Well the video itself is wildly infuriating. It's like this jackass has never seen a sheet of ice get resurfaced before. The lines are all over the place and clearly has no idea he should be splitting the ice in two. But even still, it got me realizing that I want more. I need more. I have to have more.
I feel like the older you get, the more you can appreciate the way of life as a Zamboni driver. You just get to hang out at the rink all day, drink a few beers on the job, and buzz around the ice all day. I can't imagine the pay is that great. I don't think there's a ton of power or influence or women that come along with the title. But it's just you and the Zamboni. Worst thing you have to deal with are a few shithead kids who try to get onto the ice before you close the doors. Seems pretty peaceful to me.
There are golf simulators. There are flight simulators. There are farming simulators. It just seems like spending an entire Saturday afternoon getting the boys together to delete some beers and crush the Zamboni simulator would be a great way to spend a weekend. Or if anybody in the greater Philadelphia area is a Zamboni driver and wants to let me take it out for a spin, I'll bring the beers.