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People Are Asking Me To Weigh In On Dave's TV Situation/Fiasco ... Here's My Official Statement

This photo recently surfaced. It shows a horribly hung TV in Dave Portnoy's new Miami home. The set up is inexcusable. To not center it is actually insane. It's like putting your stove in backwards. Makes absolute zero sense. This company should be liable for lawsuits, fines, jail time, and worst of all back in the day the wrath of the junkyard dog (myself) on their Twitter page. Times have changed. Dave has a multimillion dollar business to run and I am in the process of reforming after doing some shitty things. These old dogs (one much older than the other) days of ripping and running seem to be over. We bust out a few bites here and there but not like the way we used to. Things change. As Bob Dylan said, "The times they are a changing." 

As soon as this photo was posted ... the internet savages came for Dave's head. 

As the multiple tv guru , just read this if you need qualifications 

I have been asked to weigh in on this travesty . 

Here's my official statement. 

"Ladies and Gentleman of the Internet ,

After extreme examination of this photo, the room setup, and the surrounding background images, it is the finding of Bosco, Bosco, and Bosco Inc. that this is in fact a fancy room . While we encourage multiple tv's in all rooms including the kitchen and the bathroom , especially if you are worth nearly 100 million dollars, we are willing to make an exception that fancy rooms can have 1 TV in them . In turn, this fully exonerates Mr.Portnoy for the setup of only 1 TV. We also understand he is in a very serious relationship and that having one nice TV in a fancy room can allow for some relaxation with said significant other to watch some programs and unwind after mining the store for "A Chuck E Cheese for the clinically insane" as Francis Ellis once said. It is our suggestion that Mr.Portnoy use this if "off hours" of sports. Ie- Summer nights when the Red Sox are the only thing on TV, fall weeknights before Maction, weekend mornings before football etc. 

While Mr.Portnoy is exonerated from this after determining it's a fancy room. We are still labeling him a person of interest until he provides proof of a multiple tv setup in another room.  Until then the investigation is open, until that proof of evidence is provided which will remove all doubt that he is in fact "One TV Dave" that we have been working on and off for 3 years to prove. As of now, he is still considered to in fact be "One TV Dave" and our firm will continue to research all leads until answers are provided.

In closing, we are prepared to fully charge  and prosecute whoever is responsible for hanging this tv off center as well as moronically next to a window. 

Thank you for your time. 

Rico Bosco 

CEO and Founder of Bosco , Bosco and Bosco " 

That's the breaks folks. It's a fancy room. No ifs and or butts around it. It's okay to have 1 TV in a living room or a fancy room. Especially when you could be hosting parties with the likes of celebrities like Dave Grutman,Todd McShay, Dan Dakich, and Glenny Balls. Having 1 tv and putting up a screen saver with nice art is far more ascetically pleasing than 3-4 screens of college football or basketball at a dinner party. 

There is however a larger issue at hand, that I personally am most interested in. 

What is the kitchen setup for mine and Silvana's new cooking show ? What kind of stove is there ?  What kind of island to cut or dice ingredients ? Is there one of those fancy pullout drawers with a cutting board ? What kind of pots are you using ? Are the frying pans cast iron ? Is there an Alexa for us to play music ? Is this a easy kitchen for two people to move around in ? How about a stand for the phone to film ? 

The people , and the chefs need to know before this new hit show gets off the ground. And it will be a hit show … just look at the trailers 

I look forward to Dave providing evidence of his multiple TV setup , and I definitely look forward to cooking up some meals on a new show in Miami with my cohost. 

Should be a great winter.