DANIEL JONES BALLS HIS DICK OFF WHILE LEADING THE GIANTS TO VICTORY IN MINNESOTA AND SILENCES THE HATERS. SMOKE'EM IF YOU GOT'EM!!!

Clem1/16/2023 1:55 AM

I don't know if it was the almost 4000 day wait or the near flawless performance on offense but holy FUCK it felts good winning a playoff game again. The New York Giants took down the Minnesota Vikings on the road to win their first playoff game in more than a decade.

Did like 80% of the planet seem to think the Giants would do that since the Football Nerds have been calling the Vikings frauds all season? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself. But I've been to hell and back over the last five years rooting for this team, so I am going to enjoy every second of this W.

Not that the Giants didn't earn it. Fuuuuuuck that. Daniel Jones tore that defense to shreds like he did a month ago, cleaned up the few mistakes he made, and the Mike Kafka put on a fucking play-calling clinic that has NFL historians turning their heads sideways like a dog when it sees another dog on TV by balling out.

Hold on, I have a fresh stat coming in from the Barstool Research Department...

I cannot put into words how much I love my little lamb. Shout out the Daniel Jones Hype Group for riding The Danwagon since Day 1.

Moving on, Saquon looked like Penn State Saquon, Hodgins/James/Slayton made every play they were asked like the other trio of receivers the Giants had in their last two Super Bowl runs, and Daniel Bellinger perfectly filled that big MF at tight end with soft hands that came through in big spots like Kevin Boss and Jake Ballard while Brian Dabolls put his balls on the table when it mattered by going for it on 4th Down. God dammit I love this team. Even Kenny Golladay was giving out pancakes like IHOP!

On defense, the Giants...survived. Justin Jefferson didn't do many Justin Jefferson things and TJ Hockenson only caused me to question the meaning of life a few times. Kirk At Night showed up by the end because the Bills game took 7 hours to finish. I have complete faith that Wink will have the boys ready to rock in Philly next week. Which he better, because I'm about to go toe-to-toe with the biggest savages Barstool has to offer in the Gambling Cave next weekend.

But let's worry about next week when it gets here. Enjoy tonight Giants fans and every second of Victory Monday tomorrow before we root against the Cowboys at night.

NOW GET YOUR MERCH NOW FROM THE BARSTOOL NY FOOTBALL STORE SO THEY MAY ARRIVE BY THE SUPER BOWL AND SMOKE'EM IF YOU GOT'EM!!!