At long last, Miami-Dade County's nightmare is over. After nearly two months of promoting a crypto brand that has bent over and fucked (without so much as a courtesy spit) each and every single one of its customers, the Miami Heat and Miami-Dade county have gotten the greenlight to terminate their arena rights deal with FTX.
WSJ - A federal bankruptcy judge approved the termination of the contract between Miami-Dade County and FTX that gave the cryptocurrency exchange naming rights for the home of the Miami Heat.
Judge John Dorsey on Wednesday approved Miami-Dade and FTX’s request to end the deal. Miami-Dade will no longer refer to the venue, the downtown Miami sports facility that is owned by the county, as FTX Arena, according to the agreement, and the county will remove all off-site public references to the former name.
Miami-Dade County and lawyers for FTX didn’t immediately respond to requests for comment.
Of course, it's gonna be a minute before the Heat can rid the place of the FTX stench…
NBA - The order means that before long — and probably starting very soon — all FTX signage and advertising at the arena will be removed. There was no immediate word from the Heat or the county on when the process will begin.
That will be a massive undertaking. There is FTX branding on the arena’s roof, on the basketball court, over many of the entrances, on the polo shirts worn by security personnel and even on many of the electronic cards employees use to gain access to the facility.
The arena joins a shortlist of hallowed sports facilities plagued by fraud and/or general business incompetence.
Like, Enron Field (see: accounting fraud)…
Or the Chesapeake Arena in OKC (which got got thanks to Chesapeake Energy's bankruptcy)…
Of course, now that FTX Arena's fate is sealed, we're left to wonder what's next for the home of the Miami Heat (… and probably at least a few Pitbull concerts).
The County, which owns the arena, will be scrambling to get a new sponsor that hasn't committed crimes against humanity. Because, you know, these sorta things don't pay for themselves.
And really, there is only one choice: hand over the naming rights to the Bang Bros.
Back in 2019 FTX beat out (off?) adult entertainment site Bang Bros for naming rights. Boy, doesn't Miami-Dade County look stupid now. Luckily Bang Bros hasn't committed fraud or filed bankruptcy, and their offer still stands…
So, Miami Heat, City of Miami, and Miami-Dade County, are you ready to make things right and do arguably the most Miami thing ever by giving Bang Bros the sponsorship rights they deserve?
PS - I just want to throw this out there… if you're reading this Mayor Francis Suarez, I'd love to purchase those massive fucking letters that are on top of the arena. I am willing to pay in bitcoin as soon as SBF unlocks my FTX account.
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