I Wrote A Gerard Butler Action Movie As A Joke But I Can Actually See It Being Made

Todays episode of LCB is brought to you by the new movie, Clandestine Atlas 

In Clandestine Atlas, Gerard Butler plays a covert operator from Rapid City, Iowa named Chris Miller. He has a Scottish accent for some weird reason that is never explained. This CIA agent code named ATLAS, must disarm a small nuclear bomb that is hidden somewhere in the stadium of Washington D.C.’s football team, the D.C. Stallions. 

While on the hunt for this bomb, he discovers that the person who planted it is none other than his ex-partner, Matt Walker, who is played by Taylor Kitsch. Kitsch runs a rogue Private Military Company called Sentinel. Gerard Butler's boss, played by Chris Cooper, thinks that he is too close to the case. But Butler convinced him that he is the most qualified person for the job. 

Butler and his new partner, Frankie Gonzalez (played by MIchael Pena) search frantically around the city for Kitsch. They are ambushed by Kitsch’s PMCs, but they fight them off and eventually Butler corners him. He has Kitsch in his gun sights, and tries to talk his old friend into surrendering. Kitsch drops his gun and taunts Butler. “You won’t shoot an unarmed man, you’re too honorable for that!!” He is right, Butler lets him escape and as he leaves, he fatally shoots Michael pena. “Find the bomb, save the world!” Pena says before dying. 

Butler finally tracks down the bomb and finds out it is hidden in the garbage room of the stadium. After fighting through more PMCs disguised as stadium workers, he has a hand to hand fight with kitsch. During the fight, he grabs the nuclear bomb, which is in a backpack. They fight their way to a helipad where Kitsch’s escape helicopter awaits. He manages to fight off Butler and kick him off as they take off. 

“I hate to cut this short, but I got somewhere to be, old man!”

The helicopter flies away towards a tanker in the Atlantic ocean. Butler whispers to himself, “I may be the old man, but you’re about to be the boomer, asshole”.

Once outside of range and over the ocean, Kitsch presses the detonator. He starts hearing “beep, beep, beep”. He looks out the side of the helicopter and sees the backpack with the nuke in it hanging off the railing. Kitch laughs to himself “Heh, son-of-a…..” BOOM!!!! 

Make sure to check out CLANDESTINE ATLAS, in theaters April 31st. 

On on today's episode of LCB, we had Feits on to talk about the new Gerard Butler movie 'Plane', which he went to an early screening of. For the ep, I decided to write up a quick pitch for a Gerrard Butler style action movie for Feits to read as a gag. After going over it and hearing Feits read it, though, I think I might be on to something. 

The question is, how do I get this to whatever movie factory is spitting out these entertaining but imperfect movies like the Has Fallen franchise, Greenland, Geo Storm, Law Abiding Citizen (which is in a tier above all these) and others? If anyone has a connect, let me know. In the mean time, here are some other castings for this movies.

Bridget Moynahan as Gerard Butlers ex-wife that you can tell still kinda likes him despite the fact that she is remarried 

Dave Allocca. Shutterstock Images.

Image Press Agency. Shutterstock Images.

Kate Mara as some sort of by-the-books CIA analyst that hates the way Butler does business. She eventually comes around to his side and gives him a begrudging handshake at the end of the movie. 

Jason Merritt/TERM. Getty Images.

Francis Ngannou as a mini-boss working for Taylor Kitsch. Ngannou is really just a placeholder for really any UFC fighter because this is ABSOLUTELY a movie that would feature one. Gerard Butler will have a hand-to-hand fight with this guy and get his ass beat for 90% of it only to pull off a miracle victory in the last second.

Someone get this to the Butler movie factory ASAP!