NY Post - Billionaire Elon Musk has earned an unfortunate world record after suffering through an unprecedented wealth wipeout in recent months.
Musk, who once ranked as the world’s richest person, shattered the mark for “the largest loss of personal fortune in history,” the experts at Guinness World Records said in a release last week.
After reaching a peak of $340 billion in November 2021, Musk’s fortune plummeted by more than $210 billion to an estimated $130 billion as of Tuesday, according to the Bloomberg Billionaires’ Index.
This is the perfect story for a blog on Barstool Sports. It has Elon Musk in the title, which means it's going to get a decent number of clicks, no matter how little effort I put into it. It's ideal when something bad happens to a person in power, because you can't really get in trouble for saying mean shit about them (unless it's political). Elon Musk might as well have been created in a lab for mediocre writers like myself to take shots at online.
Imagine wanting to fit in on the internet so bad that you lose $210 billion dollars. That's essentially what Elon Musk did right? He wasn't satisfied with being one of the richest humans in the history of the world. He just had to try and fit in and be a cool guy online. I forget exactly how it happened, but the facts of the story aren't really important. The way everyone will remember the Elon Musk Twitter saga is that Elon Musk was doing an "I'm going to buy Twitter bit" on the internet, he took it too far, then ended up owning the company. The bit cost him $210 billion dollars.
He's really done a fantastic job making Twitter a less enjoyable place. His idea to include tweet impressions really fucked with extremely self-conscious people like myself who measure there worth as human beings by how many likes they get online. I know he says he did it to "encourage" people, by showing them how many people are actually seeing their tweets. But all I see is how many people didn't like the picture I posted of my tuna noodle casserole. He's found a way to ratio the entire internet. Even the great ones who can light the internet on fire with a single selfie look like bitches when you lay out the metrics like that.
But not only is he doing an objectively bad job running Twitter. He's doing an objectively bad job with Tesla as well. Tesla is what supposed to be he's good at. Despite solving the commons man's problem of not being able to park their vehicle with suicide doors in tight parking spaces, Tesla shares dropped 65% last year.
But Elon Musk will be fine. For one, he still has roughly $130 billion to his name. And on top of that, his strategy of resurrecting Twitter through a series of polls and memes will certainly bring his company back from the grave.
And based on a quick scroll of his Twitter account, he appears to be focusing on rockets again. Or at least focusing on tweeting about rockets. Just get us to Mars, Elon. That's what you're good for. Stick to rockets, and nothing will go wrong.