All Of The Contestants On This Week's Snake Draft Are Clowns
I'm gonna make this as short and sweet as possible:
KFC, Ed, Chief, and Carl are all fucking clown dicks. I'll even go as far to write a clown emoji
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
You CLOWNS!!!!!
And it's because of this text message:
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Okay, easy enough right? "sounds synonymous with a brand".
Immediately the hamster wheel in my head started spinning. Obviously there are all the chalky answers like McDonalds, 20th Century Fox, etc. prior to trying to conjure up some outside the box picks. On that note, I thought of major "brands" like the text from Ed sent.
One that popped in my head was Star Wars.
Now, I am one of those weirdos who hasn't even seen Star Wars, at least for the most part. I saw the Star Wars with the pod racers when I was like 12 in theaters and was allowed to go the movies without parents for the first time, but remember nothing about it.
That said, I know EXACTLY what the light saber sound is. It's synonymous with the empire that is the Star Wars brand:
Everybody and their mother knows exactly what sound this is, and per the rules that Red Ed sent saying "a sound synonymous with a brand", I felt like it was a great outside the box pick.
But apparently it doesn't work for Ed because he's an evil dictator that makes up rules on the fly. It's COMPLETE AND TOTAL BULLSHIT!
So, I will be issuing a posthumous challenge on any and all results of this draft (assuming I don't win).
I followed the rules. Ed didn't like that I out thought him. It's no different than when we were drafting "comebacks" and instead of drafting a person or company who dug themselves out of huge holes to find success, I drafted The Great Hambino telling the little prick from the team on the other side of town that he "plays ball like a girl".
Get it? It's a "comeback" but not in the sense everyone else was thinking when they were drafting. That pick wasn't in the spirit of that draft, but it worked for them at that time. I was lauded for my creativity and thinking outside the box in that moment. For some reason my attempted Star Wars pick didn't qualify though. They can't even follow their own precedent!
Disgusting in every single way.
Have a listen and judge for yourself, Barstool Chicago's "Company audio logos" snake draft is LIVE!!! Subscribe to us on YouTube: