In Honor Of The NFL Possibly Deciding Where Playoff Games Will Be Played Via Coin Flip, Let's Look At The Greatest Coin Flips In History
It's been a wild 24 hours since the NFL released all the possible scenarios for playoff seeding and where games will be played. Deciphering who will play where and when has become harder than figuring out what your girlfriend is actually mad about. Oh "nothing" is wrong, eh? Then I will be heading out for beers with the boys until you learn to communicate like a normal human being.
Overall I'm a pretty big proponent of coin flips. Whenever my fiance can't decide between two places to eat I always break out a coin and say let's flip for it. And every time she gets furious and then just makes a choice. If you don't mind your chick not talking to you until she gets a few bites of food in her it's actually a really effective tactic.
I got the idea for this blog because I saw someone mock Ian Rapafart for saying this would be the most famous coin flip in world history.
Advertisement
Ew. Is there a prerequisite for being an NFL Insider that you need to be an awkward, cringey mega-dork? What is with these guys?
Anyway, that got me wondering what are actually the greatest coin flips in history? Here is the definitive list which was compiled in a very scientific way…me spending about 15 minutes on Google.
Coin Flip for Magic Johnson
Back in 1979 the NBA used to decide which team got the first overall pick via coin flip. The teams with the worst record in each conference had a 50% shot. That season it was the Chicago Bulls and the New Orleans Jazz. By the way Utah should change their name. The only thing Jazzy in Utah is the motorized scooters obese mormon husbands ride behind their pack of wives in Walmart.
The Lakers traded for the rights to the Jazz pick so when they won the coin flip they won Magic Johnson and launched one of the greatest runs ever in sports. Aside from everything he did on the floor, Magic also makes the Lakers organization proud with his deep dive analysis.
The man has become synonymous with tweeting out obvious things. Don't believe me? Just search "Magic Johnson Tweet" on Twitter. And who could forget this gem?
Advertisement
No County for Old Men
This is one of my favorite scenes in film history. The absurdity of the scenario, the levity in the writing, the weight of the outcome…it's literally life or death.
"sixty-nine cent"
"friendo"
"you didn't mean nothing? (in a mocking voice)"
"you're a bit deaf aren't you?"
"(choking) you married into it?"
It's perfect. That roadside gas station bumpkin has no idea just how lucky he got. But I have always wondered, what the hell is Anton Chigurh eating in this scene? It's obviously one of those 99 cent peanut bags but it can't be peanuts. They're far too dry to keep shoveling in your mouth and continue the conversation like that. You'd choke, lose you focus, and need that dude to get you a water way before the coin flip. That's not intimidating at all.
My guess is cashews. Which is one of two things known as "the gentlemen's nut." The other involves you tipping your cap as you leave the room to get a towel after fornication.
Wright Brothers
Advertisement
In 1903 the Wright brothers flipped a coin to see who would be the first to fly their airplane invention. Legend has it that Orville "won" the coin toss and got to try and fly over Kitty Hawk first. Talk about the worst luck in the world.
Nothing you say will ever convince me either of those guys wanted to win that coin toss. You know damn well you're both getting credit if it works but if it doesn't…might as well be the other guy who you pour a little moonshine out for later that evening. And not only did he "win" the opportunity to take a possible suicide mission, his name was also Orville. I mean just awful life luck.
Besides him and Orville Redenbacher I couldn't think of another Orville I have ever heard of. And that's because, according to wikipedia, there are only 26 notable Orvilles EVER. Probably because the name lends itself to people thinking you are dumb as a rock. I mean would you trust a doctor if you found out his name was Orville? No. Put down that stethoscope and go fill up my gas tank. And make sure to you call heads when that creepy stranger eventually comes into your station and makes you call a coin flip.
Romeo Crennel
NFL.com -- With Cleveland's quarterback derby a dead heat, Browns coach Romeo Crennel is flipping a coin to decide if Charlie Frye or Derek Anderson starts Saturday's exhibition game against Kansas City.
"That's the fairest way," he said.
Who makes the call, coach?
"Maybe we'll play rock, paper, scissors for that," Crennel cracked.
Yes Browns history is this strange. The most coveted and celebrated position in sports, the one that one 32 men in the world get to hold at one time and the world watches their every move as they compete, was once decided by a coin flip.
Romeo Crennel is an awesome human and one of the better coordinators in NFL history but my man was not cut out for a head coaching position. To make matters worse, Frye started week 1 that year and stunk up the joint. He was replaced by Derek Anderson who went on to throw for 3,800 yards 29 TDs and lead the Browns to 10 wins. Guess the coin was wrong.
But in hindsight is it all that surprising he went with a coin flip? Just look at that picture above. He looks like a jovial old grandpa who gives you a handful of pocket M&Ms and then pulls a coin out from behind your ear. Pick the lint out of those delicious chocolates and enjoy your new found 25 cents. Thanks grandpa Romeo! You're the best!.
Harvey Dent
Advertisement
Well before he turned into Two Face and swore revenge on Gotham City and Batman, Harvey Dent was a narcissistic scumbag. I know this opinion will probably have the resident Barstool movie nerds bloggers after me but it's true. The guy got people to do all kinds of stuff for him via a two-headed coin. That's some low life stuff.
I mean look at him. This guy definitely showed up to parties in college with an acoustic guitar and once your unattended girlfriend was all liquored up on Kamchatka and Rumplemintz he struck.
"Want to go back to my place and have a beer. I can play you a few more songs…"
"I don't think I should, I have a boyfriend."
"How about we leave it up to a coin flip?"
Next thing you know Harvey is balls deep in your future wife and making her feel ways you never could. She never stood a chance because there was always only one outcome. Harvey was going to put a dent in that ass.
Marty Mornhinweg
In 2002 the Lions coach famously took the wind instead of the ball after winning the OT coin flip. Back then it was sudden death and I think it goes without saying that the Lions lost the game and later that year he lost his job.
It was such a dumb shit decision I wish it has happened 15 years later. The memes and tweets that would have been birthed from that moment would have made it a top 10 day on the bird app. I did a quick google search and I couldn't find a single Marty Mornhinweg meme. That's crazy. I might need to get Vindog on this and rectify the situation.
Marty is now a commentator for Montana and Montana State football games which is pretty cool I guess. Montana is home to the Barstool ski races (no affiliation with us). Which, unlike the Wright brothers, is a ride I would gladly "win" a coin flip to take.