Suck It, Losers... Joey Diaz Takes 5-6 Hour Long Shower Naps, So Now You Can All Stop Shitting On Them

If Joey Diaz wasn't considered a legend before, he is now. Anyone that can execute a 5+ hour shower nap has the mental fortitude of a Seal Team XI soldier and is A-OK in my book. I aspire to reach those heights one day, but for now, I'll stick to my 30-40 minute shower nap hangover cure routine. I'll get to shower naps in a moment.

There are a lot of things I excel at. I'm a world class athlete, for one. Brain like a scientist, for two. I have a cock like a Burmese python. I'm disgustingly handsome. 

I could go on for hours and hours, but I won't. You get the point. 

People say I'm flawless. I don't think that, as I always strive for improvement no matter what it is I'm doing, but people say it regardless. It's just the way the world works. But... it's not *completely* true though, as I feel like I've failed at selling shower naps well to the masses. It's something I need to work on and now that it's a new year, there's a new me. 

"WSD, wtf are you talking about you fatass? What's a shower nap?"

Can't you use context clues, you losers? Evidently now, so let me break it down for you: a shower nap is as simple as it sounds... it's when you take naps in the shower. I'll get there in a moment. Just know that I've been on the shower nap game for years and years and years:

Advertisement

BUT WSD, WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THIS?!?

Giphy Images.

I suppose it's one of those "IYKYK" type deals. Sure, I can admit a shower nap sounds weird and atypical at face value, but once you execute just one (1), there's no turning back. You'll be hooked for life. There are two main reasons one might execute a shower nap:

1. Comfort. Sometimes passing out in the shower is fun, albeit unnecessary. Kinda bored? Turn off all the lights in the bathroom and pass out in the shower. 

2. Hangovers. 

A shower nap is the single greatest hangover cure there is. No bullshit, either. Hangovers will largely cease to exist for you, and as someone who's on the wrong side of 30 now, hangovers hit quicker, longer and more violently now than they ever have at any point in my life. Shower naps are the way I personally combat them. 

Here's my method: I roll up a towel, place it behind my neck, crank the shower head towards the wall a little bit, turn out the lights, lay down with my head/neck against the back of the tub as if I'm dead and in a coffin, and take a little napski with the hot ass rain falling on my skin for a 30-40 min duration. 

Advertisement

That's it. In all reality, it's as if I'm in my own personal sauna and I'm steaming out all of the awful shit I put in my body the night before. Easy peasy. The only difference is I'm a poor without my own sauna. 

Nevertheless, it's good to know a legend like Joey Diaz is on my side. Don't take this (great) advice from me, take it from Joey. Next time you're hungover, give it a shot. 

You won't regret it and you won't look back. Just stop slandering the shower nap's good name. Don't take that advice from me, take it from Joey: