RNR 24 - PPV Replay Available to Order Until May 5thBUY HERE

Edie Falco's Role In Avatar 2 FINALLY Outshines Carmela Soprano

Getty Images. Getty Images.

I saw Avatar 2: The Way of Water over the break. The film was solid, if not unrealistic. There was a young boy—"Spider," the son of the bad guy—who wore a tiny breechcloth over his genitals throughout the film. Yet although he swims endlessly in turbulent waters, although he bounces from tree to tree and generally flies through the air, Spider's naughty garment never once shifted in such a way as to reveal a glimpse of his private parts. Not that I would have wanted that to happen, even though the actor who plays him is 18; I just found it totally unrealistic. You can't swim underwater without your untethered breechcloth billowing away from your testicles. It would billow like a jellyfish. Trust me, it would billow.  

That's the young man. Here's another photo with his bullshit, lifeless breechcloth but you have to look closely in the background:

Stupid. 

That's not the point I'm here to make. Rather, I want to tell you that Edie Falco has finally answered the question that has nagged her career for some thirty years: will she ever play a character that can outshine the shadow of Carmela Soprano? 

Thanks to her role as General Frances Ardmore in Avatar 2: The Way of Water, the answer is a resounding yes

We are introduced to Falco's Ardmore early on in the film. She storms on screen in military fatigues and literally/figuratively commands the room, barking orders and setting the tone. It's a refreshing casting choice, for when it comes to portraying women in the military, Hollywood has dragged its combat boots. Sure, we saw Demi Moore crack skulls in G.I. Jane and navigate military law in A Few Good Men

But long have we lacked a prominent female character who plays a top brass military officer. As if to answer our progressive prayers, Edie Falco owns the role of a full GENERAL. What year is this? Who can say. 

What we do know is that General Ardmore would never stand for Tony Soprano's constant womanizing, whoring, and lying. She wouldn't allow him to endanger their family or insult a casserole she worked so hard to make. In fact, we can guess that in that marriage, Tony might have to learn to cook for himself! For no General would be caught dead answering to such a fat, man-child loser. 

Giphy Images.

What's more, that degenerate A.J. would have been sent to military school a lot sooner. Kid had way too much rope thanks to the horrific influence of his misogynistic, regressive father. Not easy to take your parents seriously when your dad sits around eating ice cream on the couch all night. 

Carmela Soprano was a solid character, no doubt. Edie Falco won two Emmys as Carmela, and they were well-deserved. But without a doubt, this General Ardmore character should serve as her crowning achievement atop a long IMDB list of credits. If I were to summarize Avatar 2 in two sentences, I'd say:

"General Ardmore steals the movie. General Ardmore steals our hearts."