Dumping Them Out: New Year, New Booty

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I made the regrettable decision to hit the weed pen before I started writing this. I've forever wanted to be a guy who can smoke weed and perform regular every day tasks, but I'm just not cut out for it. Every time I smoke I turn so unbelievably dumb and anxious. It just took me 30 minutes to craft these 4 sentences because my brain does not work on weed. But I'm going to power through. One GIF at a time. I apologize if the words portion of this blog suck, but I have it on good authority that nobody other than my mom is here for the words.

By the way we're doing asses today.

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Last night I went to one of those New Years parties where everyone dresses up fancy and nobody cares about college football. The Ohio State/Georgia game went long, so I pocketed the remote so nobody could change the channel to the New Years ball dropping before the game ended. I thought it would be funny to film everyone at the party freaking out while I had the remote. So as midnight was approaching, I started filming the scene. I was called out for it immediately. Didn't even make it 2 seconds. I sat there and got scolded by a group of women, then someone else turned the channel to the New Years Eve coverage using their phone. My remote stealing strategy did nothing. I missed the end of the game. It was truly a pathetic effort by me. 

Speaking of college football. Was anyone else overcome with rage when they showed this Michigan fan celebrating a penalty in the stands?

I didn't want to be too harsh on Twitter, so I said that I would like him arrested. But in reality, I don't think a simple arrest is a harsh enough punishment. Prolonged torture would probably be taking things too far. I'm not a psycho. But I think we could at least cut both of his arms off at the shoulder as punishment. We can't just let that guy continue walking the streets with all of his extremities. We live in a society. There needs to be consequences for people's actions. 


Not to dwell on Michigan fans, but there's one more thing I noticed. Michigan has to have the worst ratio of fans who didn't go to Michigan vs fans who did go to Michigan. I'm not holding that against them. It's just an observation. It's super lame to tell someone they shouldn't cheer for a college team because they "didn't even go there". But Michigan is a very difficult school to get into. It's significantly harder to get into Michigan than Ohio State. And every time they panned to the crowd last night, I couldn't help but think, "yeah this guy definitely didn't get into Michigan."

Also, the Unibomber graduated from Michigan. And I think Dahmer went to OSU for like 1 semester. So I'm not sure that's a battle Michigan wants to fight.

The whole Andrew Tate vs Greta Thunburg situation has been annoying me. I don't know much about either person. All I know is that Greta Thunburg got famous for crying on TV about climate change when she was a child, and Andrew Tate is some sort of Nazi-adjacent alleged human trafficking influencer. I don't care for either of them. If I had to choose, I'm obviously going with the eco-broad, but I really hated her tweets this week. The bar for what constitutes a good burn is so low.


Makes zero sense. Why would he email her at That means is Greta's email address. She burned herself, and got 3.8 million likes for it. 

Her next tweet was even dumber. If you're not up to date on the situation, Andrew Tate (who was allegedly hiding from the cops due to human trafficking related crimes) responded to Greta's tweet with a video. In his video he ordered some pizzas. The pizza boxes gave away Tate's location, and the cops came and arrested him. In the video, Andrew Tate made some stupid joke about making sure the pizza boxes were not recycled. So after all of that this came out, Greta tweeted: 

No, Greta. It has nothing to do with fucking recycling. The pizzas in the video had just been delivered. Whether or not he recycled the pizza boxes is irrelevant to the situation. Even if he had recycled them, the cops still would have used the pizza boxes to narrow down his location. If you really think about it, recycling the pizza boxes would have made him more likely to be caught, because it would have put the boxes back into circulation. 

But again, that doesn't even matter, because his location was already given away. But props to her I guess. Andrew Tate seems like a person who deserves to be arrested so if she contributed to that I tip my cap. 

I haven't quite figured out the best phrase to search in order to find the best Ass GIF's. I've searched 'hot ass gif', 'hot girl bikini butt', and 'big booty gif', but all the ones I find are that same up close ass shot that look something like this. 

Individually they're all fine, but when you line up a bunch of up-close-ass GIF's, they all start to look the same. I think part of the problem is that there are no faces in a lot of the GIFs. Usually a Boob GIF includes a face, which adds a little variety to the photo. But so many of these ass GIFs are nothing more than an up-close-rump shot.

Are the long distance ass GIFs better? It's hard to say. 

Happy New Year. Thank you for your time.