PSA: Be Careful When You Stick An Ornament or Candy Cane Up Your Pussy Or Your Butthole

NY Post - A United Kingdom doctor is raising eyebrows across social media by warning people of the dangers of masturbating with ornaments come Christmastime — which is apparently an actual trend.

“It is not advisable to masturbate with Christmas ornaments,” Dr. Sarah Welsh, a gynecologist, told NeedToKnow.Online. She was listing the dildo’s and don’ts of the scandalous Yuletide tradition, which sees people hospitalized after getting frisky with everything from glass baubles to candy canes.

Even Christmas confections pose a threat “due to the hygiene issues, concern about pieces breaking off, or the sugar content of items such as candy canes,” the gyno warned holiday pleasure hunters. “Anything with sugar in it, such as Christmas confectionery, should also stay well away from the vagina as this disrupts the delicate ecosystem of the vaginal microbiome and can predispose you to vaginal thrush infections.”

I know what you're all thinking because I am too- enough with telling me how to live my life! They tell us to wear seatbelts (gay), then they tell us to wear masks (super gay) and now they are telling us not to shove candy canes up our pussies and buttholes? When will this oversight end????? Enough is enough, Sleepy Joe. I've had it! I will put an ornament, a candy cane, or an ornament shaped like a candy cane up my pussy if I damn well please. In fact, this article makes me want to do that even harder. And why stop at candy canes? I'll stick a full gingerbread house up my asshole, watch me. Watch me do it, Pelosi, try n stop me.

And who is the NY Post to kink shame? Let people live. Some people are fine with standard missionary and some people like to get a little more exotic, and some people like to do whatever it is this is:

To each their own, my friends. Have a merry Christmas and gosh bless.