The Ridiculous Scene Of Thousands Of People Lining Up At Messi's House Is More Proof He's Argentina's Living God

I know it sounds awesome to be Messi. Shit, I would happily change from blogger to World Cup champion and one of the greatest (and richest) soccer players in the world. But this many people waiting at my house? No thank you. Being surrounded by crowds like this? Get me the fuck outta there. I can't stand having a dozen people around me too close at like a bar. I don't want thousands lining up outside my house.

Plus, do you know how much traffic sucks? There's always a sigh of relief when you get off the highway or the main road and you know it's smooth sailing the rest of the way. Imagine not being able to get into your driveway? No doubt in my mind for a split second Messi thinks it's not worth it. Then he remembers he's a living God and is worth it all. 

Speaking of living gods. How about his dog getting the treatment? 

That's a good dog. Big dummy has no idea what's going on, he just knows he's the star of the show. Love everything about big dogs. Maybe invest in better security besides a jolly big old dog who wants a bone and belly rub? Can't have that many people at your house. Shocked that loser Salt Bae didn't pop out of nowhere.