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The Vikings Trail 33-0 At Half After Hilariously Puking All Over Themselves And Playing Quite Possibly The Worst Football You'll Ever See

For weeks, even months most people who watch football have called the Minnesota Vikings a bunch of frauds. It's pretty tough to not think that when you consider they have a negative point differential despite being 10-3. You even see it with Vegas gambling lines showing zero respect towards them (last week they were a dog to the Lions). Still, to start the day they sat as the 2 seed in the NFC with just four weeks to go. Their fans will counter with that stat that shows how good they are in one possession games and they close games better than anyone blah blah blah. 

Well, today the football Gods decided to expose every ounce of bad within the Vikings team and my god it was spectacular. If they were throwing the game it'd look better than this.

The Colts began the game going right down the field and kicking a field goal on an 11 play drive. Probably the best part of Minnesota's half was holding Indy to 3 in that goal line situation. It was the only moment where Vikings players got amped and celebrated. From that point on it would get as bad as you could have possibly imagined. 

Minnesota had their punt blocked for a touchdown to get the chaos going. 

Dalvin Cook then ripped off a 40 yard run to get into Colts territory. Okay now they'd begin their comeback and continue on their way, right? Nope, the next play Cook coughed the ball up which led to a Colts touchdown drive. 

Mr. 1PM then tripped on his own lineman and became a meme forever. Iced out gold chain Kirk Cousins is dead. 

One more time in slo-mo

Few plays later Kevin O'Connell decided to go for it on their own 32 yard line. No dice. 

After giving up a field goal on that ensuing drive, the Vikings found themselves in another 4th and 1 opportunity. Instead of going for it again, they were met with a tsunami of boos from the Viking faithful as the punt team came on. Why punt there if you went for it earlier? What's the point?

Well, how do you counter that logic? You fake the punt!

Need a yard. ONE yard. QB sneak? Justin Jefferson? Dalvin Cook? Nah let's have the punter sling it. Not a chance in hell of working, but it thoroughly entertained me watching at home. If you didn't laugh out loud watching that play live you have no soul. 

As I reached this point in the blog, writing it in real time, I figured that would mark the end of the bad news for Minnesota. I was even a little worried the Vikings might stage a mini-comeback to end the half and not make the score look THAT bad. That's when this happened. 

Oh and Justin Jefferson went to the blue tent with a chest injury to make matters worse for Minnesota. My jaw is on the floor. I don't think I've ever seen an NFL team play that bad in one half, never mind a team that's 10-3. We all just watched a car crash for an hour and a half and it was magical. The Colts are up 33-0 at half time. It's the first time they've scored a TD on offense, defense, and special teams in the same game in the history of their franchise. Never seen anything like it. Don't fuck with Jeff Saturday on a goddamn Saturday.