4th of July Collection | Now Available at the Barstool StoreSHOP HERE


Somebody Working For The New Jersey Devils Needs To Be Thrown In Jail For This Brisket They Served Frank The Tank

I'm gonna go ahead and say something here that I don't want anybody to take lightly. What the Prudential Center did to this brisket is BEYOND more disrespectful than what Tank did to that rack of ribs over the summer. 

At least Frank was trying to do the right thing here. He was on the right path until he ramped up the grill to 800°. Plus the grill daddy cleaning brush he was using was a piece of shit. Fuck Grill Daddy, all my homies hate Grill Daddy. 

With that being said…I'm just at a loss for words here that anybody in their right mind could even consider charging people to eat that piece of shit they called a brisket sandwich. A complete and total loss of words. The only issue is that I'm a blogger, so I'm going to have to find some words anyway. 

I'm as serious as serious can be when I say someone needs to be thrown in jail for that catastrophe. I know we love to throw hyperbole around on this website, but this is an actual crime. It's animal cruelty. And according to NJ state law, anyone who is found guilty of animal cruelty "shall be fined not less than $250 nor more than $1,000, or be imprisoned for a term of not more than six months, or both, in the discretion of the court". Looks like a 6 month jail sentence is coming up. 

A cow had to lose its life in order for that brisket to get cooked. The least you can do to honor the cow is to make the most delectable, succulent, mouth-watering bite of meat you can out of that brisket. Or at the very least, try. 

Now I realize this brisket was presented as a "pulled brisket sandwich". So I don't begrudge the fact that they didn't serve a proper slice. Even if it was sliced, it would look like utter dog shit. That's besides the point. Even for a pulled brisket sandwich, that thing is a goddamn catastrophe. It's bone dry. It looks like it came from a bag of mulch. Heck, any pulled brisket sandwich is for that matter. You want to make a brisket sandwich? Chop that shit up, cowboy, don't pull it. 

It's just lunacy that nobody in the Prudential Center stepped up and realized they shouldn't be charging people actual money to eat that shit. Especially not in this economy. It's thievery, is what it is. Frank the Tank was robbed in clear daylight last night by the New Jersey Devils. And I need them to be punished to the full extent of the law. 

Unfortunately that sandwich wasn't the only 'L' Tank took on the night, with the Flyers winning 2-1.