"Are You Stupid Now We're Both Down Here?"

I've probably watched this clip a few hundred times, I've probably referenced it a few hundred more. If you're unfamiliar it's from the West Wing (I show I still haven't watched more than 2 full episodes of). It's my favorite clip / story of all time. I always felt like the morale of someone being selfless enough to sacrifice their own well being to help others was a beautiful sentiment. I also feel like sacrificing yourself when someone else needed it the most was a powerful message. 

I can't describe everything that led to the inner turmoil within my own head that let me to end up in the hole, and I'm learning no one really cares about it. Everyone has the their own problems, everyone has their own issues, the internet is a very difficult place to manage, especially when you only see the bad side, and instead of trying to ignore it you come back over the top with your own wars and issues. I now know to move past those things and learn from mistakes the best way possible by vowing to never make them again. 

The other thing I realize is, unlike the story, no one has to jump in the hole with me and my actions don't deserve a line of people willing to jump in to save someone who has pushed back every prior attempt to be saved in the past. A lot of the digging out will be my own. It's a journey I am both terrified for and excited for. It will be a tough one and a necessary one. And should someone appear down the road and jump in, God Bless, but for now I know a lot of this has to be done by me. I will find a way out, one way or the other.