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Twitter Blue (And Its Checkmarks) Are Back Because Elon Musk Is An Agent of Chaos

Twitter Blue is back to separate the Haves from the Have Nots!

For those of you who don't live your life 280 characters at a time, Blue is Twitter's paid premium service. It allows you to edit tweets and upload HD video...which literally no one will ever do. Twitter Blue accounts will also be stamped with a coveted Blue Checkmark. You know, the one that had long been reserved for celebrities or anyone with like $15k.

But because Elon Musk can't help himself, not all Twitter users will be created equal...

Governments and businesses will get their own special checkmarks. That weird gray "official" badge for companies will be replaced with a gold checkmark and politicians and governments will get gray badges of honor.

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So now, instead of a caste system based on checkmarks vs. non-checkmarks, individuals will be willing to go all Andy King if it means getting a gold checkmark.

Giphy Images.

But that isn't even the only way Elon plans to tear apart the internet at its seams…

Membership to the exclusive club will cost you as little as $8 and as much as $11 per month. Web users will be charged $8 per month (that includes you, green bubble Android users). And iOS (Apple) users will be charged $11 per month. The company didn't specify exactly why the pricing would be tiered. But it probably has something to do with the 30% "Apple Tax" that Twitter will be charged by Tim Cook and the rest of the bloodsuckers in Cupertino.

Imagine being on a date and the potential future mother/father of your children tells you that they only pay $8 for Twitter Blue…

Every day at 5 PM the Barstool Finance crew hops on to discuss the day's biggest finance and markets stories in 15-minutes or less (think: Barstool Rundown but make it finance). Yesterday we discussed SBF vs. Congress and Elon getting booed at a Chappelle show (tune in today for full coverage of the SBF arrest)…