The NBA's New Award Names And Trophy Designs All Are Hilariously Bad .... Except The Michael Jordan One, Of Course

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I can't stop laughing at how bad these trophies look. Clem and I were texting about this after he told me to blog it and since we're both olds I made a reference. They look like the frozen mugs with the logo in it that every dad had in the 1990s. If you're a fellow old you know exactly what I'm talking about. 

That's basically what the NBA did with every single one besides, you know, MJ. 

Meanwhile:

Look at the detail. Now, sure, it's the MVP trophy. So it makes sense that it looks a little better. But what are we doing here? Just throw a little toy in a frozen trophy and call it a day. Not to mention the names kind of stink. The NBA has been arguably the best league in terms of adapting to the times. Every clip is available on social media. They know how to use that to their advantage. 

We're really going with George Mikan? I know Celtics fans will bitch and moan but John Havlicek? Give me some updated guys. Manu should be the 6th man trophy. Give me this luscious flow on a trophy: 

Ronald Martinez. Getty Images.

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You're telling me Tim Duncan can't get an award? Meanwhile while Hakeem is awesome if the NBA really wanted to have fun, how do you not give Mutombo the defensive player award name? Not to mention a statue with the finger wag would immediately be top tier of any trophy. 

And finally, the Clutch Player? What are we doing here? Definition of participation trophy era. We don't need a trophy for everything. It's simple. MVP, 6th man, Rookie of the Year, DPOY and Most Improved. That's it. Those should be the most trophies you're allowed to give out. Clutch player? Get out of here. 

I just can't stop laughing at the NBA mailing in every trophy and then sucking the everliving shit out of MJ's dick. Even the announcement is perfect. Look at all these details! Look at how good MJ is! Oh and then these bums get a trophy that looks like a toy and/or a mug.