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The Eagles Might Never Fumble The Ball Again For The Rest Of Eternity Now That We Have Coaches Punching Players With Boxing Gloves

Here's a little known fact about the Philadelphia Eagles--they are the best team in football. The offense is comically unstoppable. The defense is addicted to turnover. Heck, they even had a really solid day on special teams against Tennessee. 

But are the Philadelphia Eagles men's professional football team perfect? Close, but not quite. The one thing that's holding them back right now is they're dealing with a good ol' fashion case of the slippery fingers. They've been dealing with a bunch of fumble issues lately, and you just can't have that once the playoffs roll around. Not when every possession means a little more. 

So how do the Eagles combat their fumble issues? Pretty simple, really. They just hire a coach to perform some casual assault on the players at practice. Throw on a boxing glove and get the green light to punch the shit out of players for financial income. What a job that is. You don't even have to worry about them hitting you back, either. Honestly seems like a dream job. 

The only issue is that I question the effectiveness. I mean, sure, this will certainly help the players with ball security when it comes to moments in the game when they know they're about to run into a defender. But what about when they don't realize a defender is running up behind them? That's why I think the Eagles should hire someone to just randomly pop up out of nowhere at practice to punch the ball out of guys' hands. Maybe grab Philly boxing legend Sonny Conto or someone like that who can pack a nasty punch. The idea is there, it just needs a little more tweaking before we get to the playoffs. And then this team will never fumble the ball again. 

Go Birds.