Lighten the Fuck Up! Michael Told His Parents He Was Marrying the Most Beautiful Girl in Town...
One Sunday morning, Michael burst into the kitchen and announced, "Mom! Dad! I have great news! I'm getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives two blocks away, and her name is Vanessa."
After breakfast, Michael's dad took him aside, "Son, we need to talk privately… I love your mother, Michael. She and I have been happily married going on 30 years. She's a wonderful wife and mother, but she has never offered much in the bedroom, so I fooled around with a lot of different women. Son, I'm afraid Vanessa is the result of one such affair. She's actually your half-sister, and I'm terribly sorry, but you can't marry her…"
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Michael was heartbroken. He broke up with Vanessa the next day, leaving her in tears. After spending eight months in therapy, Michael finally started dating again.
Six months later, he came home and proudly announced, "Mom! Dad! I have great news! I'm getting married to the most beautiful girl in town! She lives three blocks away, and her name is Katrina."
Again, his father insisted on having a private conversation. "Katrina is also your half-sister, Michael. I'm terribly sorry, but you can't marry her either…"
Michael was livid! He broke up with Katrina the next day, leaving her in tears. That's when he finally decided to tell his mother about his father's improprieties.
"Dad has done so much damage, Mom. I guess I'm never gonna get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love and announce I'm getting married, he tells me the girl's my half-sister and that I can't…"
"Oh…" his mother said curiously, "Why are you listening to him? He's not even your real father…"
Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968! This is LTFU joke #138!
Just in case you missed the last one…