The Absolute Saddest Stats For Week 13 Of The NFL

Bob Levey. Getty Images.

Welcome to the Week 13 review of NFL sadness. As we venture further on in December now we start to see the wheels fall off on playoff hopes and dreams. The Texans and Bears have officially bowed out of playoff contention and regrettably will not be appearing on any "in the hunt" graphics this season which is actually a really hard thing to achieve. For other teams like the Super Bowl Rams, the season of misery continues with John Wolford at quarterback while Matt Stafford's injury could be career ending. In any case, here are a few sad tidbits involving hopefully teams you don't root for to help you get through whatever holiday blues you are suffering. 

Sad Stat #1: The NFC South is one of six divisions since the 2002 realignment to have all four teams with a negative point differential after Week 13

It's one thing that no team is above .500, it's another that every team in the basement of this NFC division is being outscored by its opponents. Since the realignment of four-team divisions starting in 2002, here are all the other divisions with all four teams in the negative at this point in the season.

- 2015 AFC South: The division winning Houston Texans would end up squeaking out nine wins from Brian Hoyer in the season that put Hoyer on the map as a sure fire back up with starting QB tendencies. 

- 2011 AFC West: Tim Tebow's miracle playoff win vs the Steelers was set up by a division winning 8-8 record where the worst team in the division was just one game back at 7-9.

- 2010 NFC West: You were probably waiting to find the division with the 7-9 playoff Seahawks on this list and yeah, here it is. I don't think we'll ever have the privilege of seeing a team two games under .500 make the playoffs again. But we can always look back at this Matt Hasselbeck team and remember the earthquake totally caused by Marshawn Lynch in their playoff win over the Saints. 

- 2006 NFC West: Matt Hasselbeck wins yet another division title this year too but at least sort of earns it this time at 9-7.

- 2005 AFC East: The Patriots would right the ship and end up 10-6 but a couple wompings to the Brees/Tomlinson Chargers and Peyton Manning Colts set them back in a crummy division.

Sad Stat #2: Patrick Mahomes has lost three straight games to Joe Burrow

The 2017-2020 quarterback classes are shaping a real changing of the guard in the NFL. So it's fun to compare how well these quarterbacks do against each other. While Mahomes generally beats everyone - he may have found his kryptonite in Joe Burrow who's the only quarterback to beat him three straight times. But Mahomes is still the baby GOAT of the young guns by far. I looked back to see if anyone ever beat the elder GOAT, Tom Brady, three times in a row. Turns out three have. Petyon Manning. Eli Manning. And - you guessed it - Jake Plummer.

That's right. Tom Brady lost three matchups in a row to a guy who who currently owns a mushroom farm. Plummer powered up to big Jake Plummer in Week 6, 2005, the 2005 Divisional Playoff round, and in Week 3 of the following year. 

Sad Stat #3: The Colts gave up 33 points in one quarter

People forget the Sunday Night game was 21-19 Dallas to start the 4th quarter. But 33 more points would be scored in this game split between the two teams which included zero by Indianapolis. The last time any team scored this many points in the 4th quarter was the Detroit Lions of all teams, in 2007 vs (of course) the Chicago Bears. This game took all the cocaine after a mundane 13-3 Bears lead heading into the 4th quarter that would see 48 total points. 

Sad Stat #4: The Chicago Bears refuse to score on drives when they need to score

You can look at the Bears going 0/8 on must score drives this season in one of two ways. They are on pace for the second pick in the draft so really it's a good thing! That's one way. You can also say this team could be in the thick of the playoff race had they even just split and scored on half these drives. That's the other way. And that's what makes this still a very sad stat. I mean, even the Broncos were able to get at least one out of seven. And that brings us to…

Sad Stat #5: The Broncos have given up the 2nd fewest points in the entire NFL. They are 3-9.

The Broncos are no stranger to this blog and it's becoming difficult to find a new angle of sadness for this team but I think focusing on how good their defense is might be the saddest angle yet. The preseason Super Bowl darling with $200 Million super dud Russell Wilson has had all the support a champion quarterback could ask for from his defense. And he just continues to absolutely shit the bed. They've scored one touchdown in their last ten quarters and just lost to the Ravens with the Windows Vista version of Lamar Jackson for the majority of the game. 

Just five more weeks of misery remains for the hapless of the NFL. I'm not sure what's in store but every week I keep getting surprised at the new lows some of these teams bring us. 

- Jeffro