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Sandbaggers Are The Worst But You Still Can't Go Around Biting People's Nose Off At The Golf Course

AP -- An argument between two men over a golf game led one golfer to bite the nose off the other in the parking lot of a casino, police said.

Mark Wells, 51, of Biloxi initially fled the scene in a Tesla before turning himself in, Bay St. Louis Police Chief Toby Schwartz said in a news release.

Officers were told that Wells and the victim had been arguing throughout the day over a golf game they played at the resort’s course.

We've all been there before. Guy tells you he's a 15-handicap on the first tee box. You're giving him 3 shots on the front and 4 on the back. He steps up and pipes one 295 with a tight little draw down the middle of the fairway, sticks a dart to about 6 feet on his approach, cans it in the back of the cup with pace, and then proceeds to step right in your line and doesn't even repair his pitch mark on his way to the next tee box. You're 5 holes in, you're already down 4 and you've lost to a birdie, par net birdie, par, par, birdie net eagle. 

I'm not saying there's any justification for biting some dude's nose off in the parking lot after a round of golf. All I'm saying is that I understand the frustration. 

Golf is the most frustrating sport even when you're just playing on your own. You could be having the most peaceful little solo 9-hole loop of your life and the moment you blade a wedge 20-yards over the green, you start mother fucking yourself to the high heavens. Combine that level of mental fragility with the fact that you're now playing against some dude who just magically happens to find every ball that you could have sworn he sliced into someone's backyard? A guy who somehow miraculously avoids every single bunker even though you know for a fact that you watched it trickle in there? You'd be ready to bite some noses off as well. 

Unfortunately I don't think that'll hold up in a court of law. This may come as a shock to some of you, but I didn't go to law school. So don't take any of this as actual legal advice. But unless the judge also golfs as well, you're probably looking at a lengthy jail sentence. If the judge is a golfer then you might actually have a chance to plead your case. "Your honor. The plaintiff was hitting his 3rd shot out of a bush, 3-jacked, and then told me to put him down for bogey". But if that's not the case, you've now lost whatever money you were already down on the match AND whatever you have to end up paying for legal fees. There goes the money you were about to spend on a new driver that was going to fix your game. Moral of the story--just scream in your car on the way home like a normal human after a shitty round instead of turning into a cannibal like this lunatic. It's cheaper. 

@JordieBarstool