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I Don't Like "Star Wars" Anymore

If any of you have watched today's episode of "Lights, Camera, Barstool," Jeff and I had a bit of a disagreement about the "Andor" series that has been running on Disney+ for roughly 30 weeks. OK, I'm being facetious. It was 12 episodes, but I made a point about the show and "Star Wars" as a whole that can't be ignored. People can shit on me for my opinions all they want, but the truth is the truth. If you like "Star Wars," you'll like "Andor." If you like Star Wars, you will enjoy "The Book of Boba Fett" and the Obi-Wan Kenobi show. If that's your cup of tea, good on you, man. It's not me trying to be condescending. Personal taste exists. But as someone who has been a "Star Wars" fan his whole life, the end of season one of "Andor" made me realize something that broke my heart. I don't like "Star Wars" anymore. I don't care about "Star Wars" anymore. "Star Wars" has been torn down, diluted, and destroyed for years. I wrote a similar blog about this when I wrote about the Obi-Wan series several months ago. 

This isn't me saying, "Disney ruined 'Star Wars." It's me saying that I'm done with expectations regarding this franchise. There are those people, and I'm not mad at them, but there are those who believe that everything that has the name "Star Wars" on it will be good. That's not me. When you break it down, "Star Wars" has a low batting average. The original trilogy is iconic. "Return of the Jedi" is not as good as the previous two films, but it's a good conclusion to the trilogy. Since then, yes, there's been good "Star Wars." As a piece of nostalgia, the prequels have a special place in my heart, but only "Revenge of the Sith" is good. I can watch "The Phantom Menace" and "Attack Of The Clones," but that doesn't mean they're quality films. I liked "The Force Awakens." I enjoyed "Rouge One," and I've dug "The Mandalorian." Other than that, every live action release since 1983 has been shitty. And I'm a little tired of this series being so visionless that it tries to retcon everything that came before it. "Well, if you watch eight seasons of a cartoon show, it actually makes the prequels pretty good." Fuck off. I can't be blunter than that. I'm sure the Clone Wars show is wonderful, but I am tired of "Star Wars" continually trying to win me back. Get it right the first time, and stop watering down your product. If you milk a property for long enough, it can make anything better, but I don't have that time. 

"Andor" is not bad. Objectively speaking, it's a well-made television show, but like most television shows, I find it bloated and boring. It's so incredibly tedious, and I think it sets a terrible precedent about what the rest of "Star Wars" will look like. Because the next "Star Wars" spinoff series will be about the janitor that swabbed the cum off the fucking floor of the Death Star back in 1977. That's not what this series is supposed to be. "The Mandalorian" is an excellent show, but considering how Star Wars has gone over the last 30-40 years, I guess I won't like season three. Taika Waititi is helming the next big "Star Wars" movie, and while I think he's an excellent director, if he handles this the way he took "Thor: Love And Thunder" we'll probably have a Jedi tripping on a banana peel at some point. I have no faith in anything that the franchise is doing anymore. And before anyone calls me a hater, I can't express how much this series and this franchise have mattered to me over my entire life. I'm not working at Barstool if not for my love of "Star Wars." My imagination exists because of the original three films and because of the prequel films as well, which I still have a soft spot for. I wept like a baby when the opening crawl for "The Force Awakens" was shown in 2015. And I'm sure if I went to "Galaxy's Edge" in Florida, I'd cry again because I guess that "Galaxy's Edge" plays homage to a time in which "Star Wars" actually mattered. But the fact that somebody like me can be so openly critical of a franchise that shaped his adolescence reflects that "Star Wars" isn't what it used to be. It breaks my heart.