Panties Will Be Dropping Everywhere This Holiday Season Thanks To The Eagles' Offensive Lineman Holiday Album
For all my life I have been violently against listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving. Things are constantly changing in this world, for better or for worse, but the one constant I've tried to hold onto is that Christmas season doesn't begin until Thanksgiving is over.
But I think that's coming to an end right now because the Philadelphia Eagles men's professional football team is putting out a Christmas album so hot that I'll have no other choice but to listen to it 365 days per year. I honestly might never listen to another musical artist ever again once this album comes out. It's "A Philly Special Christmas" in December. It's "A Philly Special Christmas" in March. It's "A Philly Special Christmas" in July. And it's going to be "A Philly Special Christmas" at this exact time next year.
As soon as Jordan Mailata came in there for the 2nd verse my pants immediately came flying off. Just sitting there with my bare ass on my seat because Jordan Mailata's angel voice ripped the pants clean away from my body. It's going to be an awkward Christmas dinner once you throw this album on the speakers. Mariah Carey and Michael Buble can kick rocks for all I care. Jordan Mailata is the official voice of the holiday season from now on. Brought tears to my eyes and blood to my dick.
By the way, I need to check in with my pals over at the Elias Sports Bureau but I'm pretty sure the Eagles could become the first team to ever put out a Christmas album and win a Super Bowl in the same year.