This Cyber Monday Is The PK Payday. Stoolies Can Win Tickets. Employees Can Win Money. And Everything Is 20% Off
Tonight is our 7th Annual Cyber Monday Telethon. Everything at the Barstool store is 20% off all day and our livestream will start at 7 PM on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, and the website. Our past telethons have pretty much all been punishment based. Last year, Jersey Jerry had to get dropped in the grossest dunk tank of all time. In other years, General Smitty almost got decapitated by a paintball gun. I got buried alive. A bunch of morons had to figure their way out of an escape room. But this year is different.
This year I am in the giving spirit so we will be doing the PK Payday in honor of the World Cup. Barstool employees have the chance to win money. And Stoolies have the chance to win tickets. And the more merch we sell, the more prizes we give out. I am basically Santa Claus. Here are the rules.
So basically for every $10,000 worth of merch we sell, the presenting brand at that time will get a shot on goal with a Barstool employee in net. If they score, 2 tickets to any game or concert of choice will go to a lucky Stoolie who enters the contest. If the goalie saves it, they get $1,000 and the chance to keep saving shots and earning money until they let one by. If we hit our goal of $250,000 by night's end then one random contest winner gets either 2 Super Bowl tickets OR Taylor Swift tickets. Plus a meet and greet with Barstool people during Super Bowl Week.
As for the contest winners, they'll be determined by a random drawing of everyone who entered the contest though this link during the Telethon. The winners will be announced starting at 8:30 PM on our Monday Night football stream. Ticket cap will be set at $250 per winner with the obvious exception of the Super Bowl/Taylor Swift prize.
There are also these spending perks you can earn throughout the day.
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Now the big question is who will be in net basically trying to take tickets out of your pockets. Luckily for Stoolies, I have not exactly chosen our eight most athletic employees. The goalies comes in all shapes and sizes and the order will be…
1. Jersey Jerry
2. Kelly Keegs
3. Spider
4. Big T
5. Tiko Texas
6. Tommy Smokes
7. Nadu
8. Klemmer
Not what I'd call a bunch of brick walls. Name a more unique looking group of people.
As I always say, Black Fridays and Cyber Mondays are super important since they allow us to control our own destiny by selling a shit ton of merch and not leave us at the mercy of advertisers who can decide to drop us thanks to some hit piece written by a "journalist" with a clear agenda and axe to grind with us. And in return for the sales, you can maybe see Klemmer get broken in half by a soccer ball.
So tune in tonight at 7 to watch and keep shopping 20% off at the Barstool store all day.