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Keep Your Girl As Far Away As Possible From The Pittsburgh Penguins Warmup Routine

The NHL has been around for over a hundred years. I thought we had seen everything at this point. Incredible comebacks, immaculate goals, insane fights. 

Never in my wildest dreams did I think we'd ever see 21 dudes all blasting their gooch for the entire crowd to see 20 minutes before puck drop. The fellas just spreading their legs and flashing some taint to get the crowd going. Typically you'd have to pay extra for that sort of thing. Move the broadcast from TNT over to Cinemax. You bring your girl to a Penguins game then you better show up a few minutes after the opening puck drop, or else she's not going to be your girl anymore. The only issue is that if you wait a couple minutes before heading into the barn, you're going to miss the first goal of the game. 

By the way, obviously the Penguins were doing that warmup routine as a tribute to Evgeni Malkin playing in his 1000th career game. The 3-year Superleague legend has been firing up the body like that for years, and clearly it's been working. 1000 career games, 452 goals, 1166 points, and on pace to have another point-per-game season. 

It's his 17th season in the league and the big fella still has it going as much as ever. 

He's put up the 2nd most points at 1,000 games among all active players. The only guy in the league who produced more in their first thousand is some kid name Sid, who ended up adding a goal and 3 assists to his career totals last night. 

That stat is insane. Crosby and Malkin both getting on the board in Geno's 1000th game. Pretty special night for sure. Although I'm sure this is the moment of the night Geno will remember forever. 

Goddammit that was awesome. I'd really appreciate if the Penguins could just allow me to continue hating them. But I can't bring myself to hate anything about that.