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"He Couldn't Hold Kirk's Jockstrap!" - Vikings Player Kris Boyd Is NOT A Fan Of Taylor Heinicke Stealing Kirk Cousins' Postgame Ice Ritual

I can hardly blame the Commanders for icing out Taylor Heinicke. They were double-digit underdogs in Philly and somehow pulled out a win thanks in part to a bullshit personal foul call that Heinicke drew. Hey, a win's a win, right? And to spoil a division rival's perfect record? Even better.

Buuuuuuuuuuut I'm gonna side with Vikings special teamer Kris Boyd here. Just because he barely plays for an 8-1 Minnesota team doesn't mean he is lacks a valid point in this instance. It's a wild move for the Commanders in particular to do this. This is, after all, the dysfunctional franchise that kicked a perfectly competent quarterback in Kirk Cousins to the curb.

Taylor Heinicke already has the cool, obvious Heineken tie-in with his last name. He doesn't need all these chains to confirm his swag. It's also not even funny when Heinicke gets decked out like this, because like Boyd said (among other things), it's derivative! Only the nerdy-ass, dad-bod, zero-charisma Captain Kirk can pull this stunt off.

OK maybe "dad bod" is a little harsh. Still, comparing him relative to other chiseled quarterbacks around the NFL, Kirk Cousins looks like a barely-passable athlete. What's crazy is, in spite of that — and while playing behind some pretty shabby offensive lines — Cousins has missed only two possible starts over the past seven-plus seasons.

To one of Boyd's other points that's mentioned in the headline, Cousins is way more accomplished than Heinicke. Throw out their similar passer ratings from 2022 (87.0 to 82.7). Cousins is more accurate and experienced, a better decision-maker and laps Heinicke in career earnings several times over. The Washington QB is riding an unsustainable high with his gunslinger mentality and ultimate "IT" factor. Dude ranks DFL (38th out of 38) in PFF's 2022 passing grades, beneath the likes of Baker Mayfield and Zach Wilson. He's even well below his teammate Carson Wentz (27th); Cousins is 11th.

I get what the Commanders were trying to do here by gassing up Heinicke. He saved their season once Wentz went down and they're rallying around him. They wanted to express their appreciation for the spunky second-string signal-caller. This was just not the way to go about it at all. 

Pro tip, gents: Swap out those Busch beer cans for Heinekens in that makeshift trash can cooler and hold the ice next time.