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Glue Guy: Brazil Is Bringing 39-Year Old Dani Alves To The World Cup Strictly To Have The Job Of 'Babysitting' Neymar

[Source] - Veteran Brazil defender Dani Alves' primary role in Qatar is to babysit maverick forward Neymar, it has been reported. 

Alves was a shock inclusion in Tite's squad for the World Cup with many questioning just what role you can expect the 39-year-old to play as his career winds down. 

The answer appears to have been found, with Diario reporting that Alves' inclusion was as a result of Tite and his coaching staff realising their best hope of glory relied on Neymar being disciplined throughout.

I love this move so much. You have 26 spots on the World Cup roster this year and if you're Brazil you gotta use them smartly. Sure, they are loaded. Sure, they have star power and are one of the favorites to win the whole thing. But a main reason why is Neymar. But only a disciplined Neymar since he was blamed for them losing in the quarterfinals in 2018.

What does Brazil do? Bring in 39-year old Dani Alves to the roster. He's not there to be a backbone of the team. He's not there to help prevent goals. He's there to babysit Neymar, words from a report, not mine. I love it. That's the sort of guy every roster needs. You need your stars don't get me wrong. You also need your enforcers. But most importantly you need the glue guy. And what better reason to make the roster at 39 than to be that. He's basically like Udonis Haslem for Brazil. Gets to bask in all the glory of being on the Brazil roster and go to a World Cup with no pressure of playing. It's beautiful. 

I actually think the US should do this. Fuck Aaron Long on the roster. Give me Claudio Reyna there to help give guidance to his son Gio. Give me Clint Dempsey for good vibes. Give me Brian McBride to be the heart and soul in the locker room. One of those guys should always be on the roster just to be sure. I mean I'd also take them over Aaron Long just to be clear too. 

Lesson 1 to keep him in line should be stop flopping: 

The 16 rolls in a row will never stop being funny, but come on man, you're too good for that. Credit to Brazil. They know they are favorites they basically just needed some accountability. Babysitter, blog buddy, glue guy, whatever you want to call it. This now has me thinking Brazil is gonna win the whole thing.