Jana Kramer Thinks Chris Evans Ghosted Her Over “A Mortifying Bathroom Incident” And I Have A Bone To Pick With Chris Evans
Page Six - According to Kramer, the “Captain America” star invited her to his California home for a “sleepover” while his friends from Boston were in town.
“And so I had asparagus for dinner that night so I went to the bathroom and he immediately went after me,” she said, adding that she went to sleep before Evans.
“And so that’s the last interaction that I remember is him going into the bathroom after I just went to the bathroom with asparagus pee and never hearing from him again,” she said, adding, “I did the asparagus walk of shame out of his house.”
Although Kramer says the pair “didn’t hookup that night,” she revealed the actor, who is now dating actress Alba Baptista, is a “great kisser” and “super sexy.”
Despite the “mortifying” moment, the singer slid into Evans’ DMs last year after hearing he was looking for love.
Listen, I like Chris Evans a lot. Rather, I liked Chris Evans a lot. Before reading this.
Unlike most of you, I celebrate Chris' entire catalog, not just the Marvel stuff.
I laughed my ass off at him in Not Another Teen Movie. And I cried like a little bitch over him and his niece's relationship in Gifted.
But after hearing about him ghosting Jana Kramer over this, not anymore.
What the fuck Chris?
Have you no decency? We're talking about asparagus pee here (*allegedly).
Jana Kramer is the type of minx that you let shit on these walls if she wants,
She's that hot.
Remember her from the leather body suit Nationwide Insurance commercial?
Or more recently, her ugly divorce and alimony she's paying the guy who cheated on her repeatedly?
My question is this Chris. Have you ever lived with a woman? Or stayed over their place for more than a day or two? You know, to see how the really live? When they're not putting on a show during the honeymoon phase?
They're pretty fucking nasty when it comes down to it.
The arsenal of feminine products in the bathroom cabinet, the tampons, the clumps of hair they leave in the shower drain. They don't know how to clean up after themselves either so you see everything.
If a little asparagus pee smell is enough to turn you off, I have bad news for you buddy.
*But since I'm always such an impartial guy, I'll play devil's advocate here. Maybe Jana is downplaying this whole story, as females sometimes tend to do. And by sometimes, I mean all the time. And by downplaying, I mean lying to make herself not look bad.
Maybe she had some bad miso soup or something earlier in the day and when she showed up at Chris' place her stomach started rumbling. She had no choice but to blow up his bathroom. He's a guy so it's highly unlikely he had any scented candles laying around in there, or fragrances to spray, so her best bet was to throw the fan on and pray.
As luck would have it, Chris was probably waiting on the other side of the door when she opened it, needing to take a leak, and he walked right into the mushroom cloud of stank.
In his defense, that's hard to come back from. No matter how smoking hot the chick is.
Regardless, it's been a tough run for Jana. Somebody please satisfy this woman for God's sakes.
Last week, the singer claimed ex-husband Mike Caussin, who she was married to from 2015 to 2021, didn’t go down on her for years.
“My ex-husband, the third … he didn’t do that for the first time until we were maybe getting back together, when he got out of rehab,” she joked while talking about oral sex.
What a fucking loser.