Your Life Will Never Be The Same After Hearing Gary Bettman Utter The Phrases "Sugar Mommy" And "Sugar Daddy"
Throughout the course of history, human beings have gone through plenty of shared and collective traumatic experiences. Time and time again we have proven we have a remarkable ability to overcome and persevere in the face of tragedy and evil. We unite as one and emerge stronger than ever from the horrific event that attempted to bring us to our knees.
I don't think this is one of those situations. I don't think we'll ever be the same after hearing Gary Bettman say "sugar mommy". I especially don't think we'll ever be the same after hearing Gary Bettman say "sugar daddy".
This is a turning point in society. A pivotal moment in which we seriously need to contemplate the purpose of our existence. Is it worth it if the price we have to pay is this incredible uncomfortability of listening to Uncle Gary say "sugar daddy"? I truthfully don't have an answer for that.
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And yes, I'm aware that Gary Bettman is just repeating the words that Ryan Reynolds said on Fallon when he was asked about the idea of buying the Ottawa Senators.
But it works when Ryan Reynolds says it because Ryan Reynolds is hot and Ryan Reynolds is funny. Hearing Gary Bettman say it is as uncomfortable as I'd imagine watching your grandfather cough while completely naked would be. No thank you.
With all that being said, I am incredibly jealous of the Ottawa Senators and their fans right now. They are in a great spot moving forward if Ryan Reynolds actually finds his sugar momma and can pull this thing off. They have a sick young core, they can still squeeze out another really solid years out of Giroux, they have a decent amount of cap space to work with, and then they'll have the coolest owner in the league who will probably make an awesome documentary style series on the team and everybody will think it's awesome. I just hope the world is still around to see it happen.