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A City In Kentucky Had A Coin Flip To Determine Who Won Their Mayoral Race, Tails Shockingly Did Not Fail

Ezra Shaw. Getty Images.

I'm not here to politics. That's fucking stupid. I'm here to talk about how it's 2022, we live in the greatest country to ever exist and we're doing coin flips for mayoral winners. I know it's a small ass city in Kentucky. Those jokes write themselves and I'm sure you can make them in the comment section. But how do we not advance to rock-paper-scissors? Everyone knows best out of 3 RPS is the easiest way to decide something. I mean, shit, we're in Kentucky. Ball don't lie. Ever heard of that shirt? Well, get in the gym and shoot for it. That seems like an accurate way to solve a problem when it's tied 55-55.

Now, I'm also here to argue for tails. At some point it became popular to say heads is the correct option. I will never buy into that. One of the most unreal streaks I ever had was a perfect 10-for-10 on calling tails during senior year of soccer. Won every single time, picked which way to go every single time. Shout out York Catholic. You can't put your hands of being the mayor on heads. You just can't. The incumbent needs to fight to be allowed to call tails, because everyone knows this: 

One of my all-time favorite scenes in any movie. And yes, the movie is better than the show. That's not for this blog though. This blog is for a coin flip. Now right off the top of my head here's the order of how a tiebreaker should happen in Butler, Kentucky:

5. 100 meter race 

4. Punt, pass and kick competition 

3. Drunken Mario Kart race

2. Rock, Paper, Scissors best of 3

1. Game of 1-on-1 to 21

If the beautiful and fine people of Kentucky are going to made fun of for having a coin toss, at least make spice it up a little bit. Do you know how electric a game of 1-on-1 would be to determine who is mayor? You spend your whole adult life working for this goal and it comes down to whether or not you have a left hand and some dribbling skills. 

Always go tails when your career depends on it.