The Dream Is Dead: One Person In California Won The Powerball, Which Finished at $2.04 Billion. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Well there goes that fun. 

I know the chances of me winning the lottery are about the same as a hot babe sliding into my DMs. I know the chances of me winning the lottery are about the same as Dave calling me just to tell me I did a good job. I know the chances of me winning the lottery are about the same as me cashing the WSOP Main Event. But man, I just like to believe. 

I like the hope that it could be me. That a hottie DMs me. That my boss gives me an atta boy, way to raise page views 40% in 3 months. That I am good at poker. But alas, the odds are stacked against me.

But that's why we play the lottery. For the hope. For the dream. When I play the lottery I do $20 worth of tickets. It's that sweet spot for me where I feel I give myself a chance. I've done $100 before but then I felt stupid after. $20 is the perfect amount to let me day dream about my new rich person life. A life where I can delete my Twitter. A life where I can play high stakes poker whenever I want, no care in the world. A life where I don't have to wake up and attempt to decipher a Marty Mush blog. 

I still would like to work though. I like that I can blog whenever I feel like it. It's still fun to me. Not as fun as 2015 when you could make any joke in the world and people would laugh and not get offended, but still, it can be fun.

I will say this though- I think $2 billion is too much money. Is that a hot take? I think it's reasonable. I don't like having stress in my life. Living with my brain is stressful enough as is. The anxiety of being a billionaire would kill me. Always worried about being kidnapped, family held for ransom, not being able to live a normal life. I don't want that. I want $50-100 million. That's the right amount of money. Can invest and have family wealth, can buy basically whatever I want, but it's still not enough money to be a complete fucking moron with the money. You can still be humble with 50 mil. 

So it sucks I didn't win, but hey, there's always next time when the jackpot will be a little lower and more manageable. That's how you spin your way out of not winning the lottery, folks. The ol' "it was too much anyway", as if I wasn't daydreaming yesterday about recreating all the GoldenEye 64 levels to play laser tag with my friends in. Whatever. Who needs that when there's a new Marty Mush blog to edit. Yay. And I'm sure the DMs from hot babes will be arriving any second now.