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Jim Irsay Just Put On A Masterclass Of A Press Conference While Introducing Jeff Saturday As The Interim Head Coach Of The Colts

I'm so happy to be a Colts fan today. I have no idea if most Colts fans feel that way, but they really should. There's not an owner in the NFL I'd rather have than Jim Irsay. I trust this man with my life.

does a quick Google search to make sure he hasn't been convicted of any sex crimes

Yep, I think I'm in the clear. Drunk driving is bad, but it's not quite cancellable. Battling drug addiction and rampant alcoholism just makes him more relatable. We're all people. We all have our vices and things that we have to overcome. Despite living life in the fast lane, and his fair share of mistakes, Jim Irsay is still living better than every single person who is reading this blog right now. He's living better than every person I've ever met (Dave Portnoy is the only one who's even halfway close). 

Sorry, I got off on a bit of a tangent there. I almost forgot I was supposed to be blogging about that press conference. Did y'all see that shit? Just a masterclass in running a professional football organization, and a clinic in how to hold a press conference. 

People had their fun today acting like ESPN Analyst, and former High School Football Coach Jeff Saturday was somehow "under qualified" to coach the Indianapolis Colts. Irsay nipped those rumors in the bud real quick today.

Suck on that losers. Do you know who had experience coaching? Nathanial Hackett, Matt Ruhle, Frank Reich. You know why they suck? Because they're scared. Bet you feel dumb for asking that question now.

You don't need to know how to make sausage to build a football team. That couldn't be more true. Sausage has nothing to do with it. Irsay said it himself, he hired Jeff Saturday based on intuition. That's rich alcoholic speak for vibes. He should have been able to end the press conference right there. No follow up questions necessary. "I hired Jeff Saturday because of vibes." That's more than good enough for me. Giddy'up

NEIGH

Lucky for us, the presser didn't stop there. Jim Irsay proceeded to dunk on every snobby Indianapolis Journalist who attempted to catch him in some sort of "gotcha" moment. And continuously reminded everybody of how he is the single best owner in the history of the NFL

Nothing but facts. You don't even need to check him on it. Mr. Irsay would never lie about what quartile his football team is in. His word is his bond.

Bruce Arians sure did win a Super Bowl. Doesn't matter what team it was for. Jim Irsay hired the fuck out of him. Sure he let him go when Chuck Pagano came back from cancer, but I mean… it's cancer.. what is he supposed to do? Just kick him to the curb because the interim coach they had step in was way better at the job? Jim Irsay doesn't work that way. His employees are like family to him, and he treats them with respect. Good guy Jim. 

One dickbag reporter thought that they had him with this question.

Reporter: "What about Chris Ballard huh? He sure sucks right? Are you bringing him back?" (paraphrasing)

Irsay: Nope, he's actually the greatest basketball player of all time. Next question.

Just in case you were wondering about the Rooney Rule, Jim Irsay gave a well thought out, coherent answer demonstrating a deep understanding of the rule, and it's importance.

This next one is my absolute favorite quote

Suck a dick everyone in professional sports. From players, to general managers, to coaches, to owners, to writers, and to whoever, who take sports so fucking seriously. People act like they are so god damn important because they they are involved in sports, and it's so god damn annoying. It's a game. It's not that deep. You're not building rockets. Thank you Jim Irsay.

Hang the fucking banner.

NEIGH

Raimund Linke. Shutterstock Images.