I don’t know shit about fuck, and I don’t really understand human beings. I think this has been well documented. I also like being nice, and I hate being mean. I wrote three different blogs this week that I never submitted for approval where I shit all over the Michigan media for how they handled that stupid tunnel incident that went down after the Michigan/Michigan State game on Sunday. I couldn’t bring myself to post something that negative. Anyways, in our match last night on “The Dozen” (great win, by the way), I gave Clem a call on the chain restaurant question (the clip starts at the 24:50 mark). I consistently referred to him as “pal” and “buddy,” which seemed to bother some people. And while it’s encouraged that we write blogs that stand on our own and don’t ask many questions, this blog is one big question. Are words like “dude,” “buddy,” and “pal” demeaning comments to use when describing your friends? I genuinely don’t know.
Look, man, my biggest fear in life is making people uncomfortable. Growing up, people always told me that I said weird shit. Post spectrum diagnosis, I’ve basically tried every day to make sure that I present myself in the best manner, say the right things, and act the correct way, because while I’ve been open about my condition, I hate the whole “well, he’s on the spectrum” bullshit. Some people can afford excuses. I can’t. I’ve lived the last six and a half years of my life thinking it’s a good idea to talk to people the way I’d like to be talked to. Maybe that “one size fits all” approach is a bad idea, but like…what’s wrong with “buddy?”What’s wrong with “pal?” I don’t get it. I need a human being with a functioning brain to explain it to me.
I know I’m going to sound like Terrance and Phillip here, but my coworkers are my buddies. They are my pals. They are my friends. Maybe that’s a mistake on my part. But 99% of my friends either grew up, got married and had kids, or live in other states. I had friends of mine who took their children Trick-Or-Treating this week, and I spent my Halloween dressed like a character from a famous musical and looking at the ceiling for four hours. Talking to people I like is fun, so I try to use affectionate terms when talking to people that I enjoy talking to. But again, I’d stop doing it if it wasn’t correct. I swear to god, I feel like I’m losing my mind. Can you have a midlife crisis at age 27? If so, I’m on the verge of one. If I impulsively purchase a Ferrari in the next two weeks, you’ll know where I’m at. I just want to be good.