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Michael Irvin Was Part Of The Craziest Locker Room Story I Have Ever Read

Sportscasting - “Seniority!” Irvin yelled. Not once, but four times. “Punk get the f*ck out of my chair!”

Now, McIver had been in the league five years at that point, so he felt he’d paid his dues. “You’re no f**kin’ rookie. He can’t tell you what to do,” another lineman chirped in McIver’s ear.

“Damn right!” McIver said (or at least thought). He got up from the chair and shoved No. 88. The two came to blows and Irvin reached for a pair of scissors. Fortunately, it wasn’t a straight blade. Irvin plunged the shears into McIver’s neck, missing his carotid artery by inch

Documentaries, specials, movies, and books that have always interested me are things I knew a little about or was alive for but not old enough to appreciate it. Things like Woodstock is ultra fascinating to me. I had obviously heard of it but I didn't know any real substance to it. The same with Son of Sam. My dad grew up during the Summer of Sam and had told stories of how crazy it was living in NYC at that time. So when that movie came out I had to see it. I needed more info on the story I had only heard bits and pieces of. 

So when I was at a family Christmas party about 15 years ago and saw a copy of Boys Will Boys on my uncle's end table, I knew it was something I wanted to read. I ordered myself a copy the next day. I was alive for the Dallas Cowboys run of Super Bowls. I remember watching the famous fumble by Leon Lett in the snow on Thanksgiving at my Grandma's house. 

I also remember my Dad showing up the Don Beebe play over and over and telling us that's how you hustle and how much of a hot dog Leon Lett was then said if we ever did that he would walk out on the field, take our pads off, and make us walk home. 

When I played youth football everyone wore 22, 88, and 8 and tried to be like Emmitt, Mike, and Troy. I knew the Cowboys were the best team out there. However, I didn't really watch the games in the sense that I paid attention. I didn't properly appreciate what I was watching. I had no sense of the greatness out there. Now, I have a pretty good excuse. During the Cowboys run of Super Bowls I was 5,6 and 8 years old. I was more obsessed with running around the house, and playing Ninja Turtles than I was the NFL and I think everyone reading this would admit to that, or they are completely lying. It's just how it is when you are a kid. 

But like I said, I was aware of that greatness and the older I got, the more I regretted never being able to see it like I should have. Youtube highlights just don't do the same justice. So mix in how good they were ON the field and then the fact that I learned about all the stuff OFF the field. I had to consume this book (I'm shocked there hasn't been a 30 for 30 on their run). 

The Irvin story is the opening to the Jeff Pearlman book and I was floored when I read it. What a story that perfectly sums up how crazy good those teams were but how crazy nuts their locker room was. It was at times a full on circus that was also an unstoppable force on the field. It was mesmerizing to read and try and figure out how this collection of guys with such antics could be so successful. 

If you haven't read the book or any of Jeff Pearlman's books (the 86 Mets book The Bad Guys Won is my favorite), I strongly suggest it. Especially guys my age who lived through this Cowboys run but were too young to appreciate it. Bar none, the haircut stabbing is the craziest locker room story I have ever heard and it's just one of the many insane stories of this team in this book. I can't stress enough it's a great read. 

Irvin told some of those great stories about his time in Dallas including infamous "The White House", check out the full appearance on PMT here.