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Mariah Carey Announces: "IT'S TIIIIIIIMEEE!!!!!"








The queen has spoken! The calendar has turned to November 1st and it is officially Christmas SZN. People get mad about it because they say "well we still have Thanksgiving", which is true, obviously. But if you're waiting for Thanksgiving to get ready for Christmas, you're already late, my friend. November 1st you start stretching. You start making your list and checking it twice. You start wondering if you break up with your girlfriend now will you be off the hook for presents. You know, the important things.

To reiterate, this isn't taking anything away from Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. It's a day to eat, drink, and watch football. Really, it's the most American holiday possible this side of July 4th. If you don't love TGive you're a clown.

But let's not mince words, Xmas is obviously the main event. All road leads to Xmas. November 1st is when you can reasonably start putting up your lights, getting ready to chop down a tree, and start kissing hoes under the mistletoes. 

So happy Christmas Season to all! May your holiday season be filled with love, laughter, and hand jobs.

PS: Mariah Carey will always have a spot in my heart and in my soul. She was the first celebrity I ever had a crush on. The album "Butterfly" had just come out and she's wearing that little tube-top thing on the cover, and then she came out with the "Honey" video where she runs out of the water in the bikini…10 year old me was like mama mia!!!



PS: I could write 10,000 words about it, and maybe I will later: time is crazy. The fact it's November- though I understand how time works, it's always jarring to think like "woah, it's already XXXX month in XXXX year, how does it happen?" Like, I have vivid memories of 30 years ago. And I live in the present time. It's insane how that works. If anyone has any good documentary recs about this topic let me know. Just the way time moves forward and all that, it's so fascinating.