For The Next Week, The Whole World Is Philly Fans

Daniel Shirey. Getty Images.

I saw a graphic the other day that had pretty much every state that isn't physically touching Texas rooting for the Phillies in the World Series. I couldn't believe it at first. The rest of the country spends 51 other weeks of the year constantly shitting on Philly. But now that the Phils are the only thing preventing this scummy, two-timing, good for nothing, cheating Astros organization from getting their grimy paws on another Commissioner's Trophy? Turns out Red October is a coast-to-coast movement. 

Now I'll be honest, I didn't know how to handle this at first. It was kind of one of those "if you didn't love Philly fans when they were vomiting on children, you don't get to love us now" sort of things. But the more I thought about it, the more this makes sense. It's not like this is the first time this has been the case. Think back to Super Bowl LII. You had an underdog Philly team that everybody had already counted out going up against an evil empire notorious for cheating their way to championships. America loves an underdog story, and there's no greater underdog on the planet than the city of Philadelphia. 

There's a difference between chaotic good and chaotic evil. The New England Patriots are chaotic evil. The Houston Astros are chaotic evil. These are teams that will do anything and everything to weasel their way to the top. The Philadelphia Phillies? Well the craziest thing they do is just spend a shit ton of money and smash the piss out of some baseballs. 

And honestly, what's more American than that? Spending money and unloading missiles with reckless abandon? Might as well call this team the US government. 

But I believe in a world where good will always triumph against evil. A world where Nick Foles catching a touchdown pass in the Super Bowl and Tom Brady completely whiffs on a pass thrown to him. Is it going to be easy? Of course not. The Astros have pitching depth. They have guys who can hit all up and down the lineup. They can play small ball, they can play the long ball. They have it all. But what they don't have is the support of an entire country pulling for them to get the job done. We are all Philly.