Week 8 NFL Power Rankings: Bears Make A Big Statement, Seahawks Surge And Beware The Bengals!

Matt Fitzgerald10/27/2022 4:45 PM

Katelyn Mulcahy. Getty Images.

Whether you want to call it a prevalence of parity or mediocrity, this bizarro NFL season has been entertaining as hell. Other than the elite three teams who are rather obvious, pretty much everyone is still realistically in the playoff hunt near the midpoint of the schedule.

I feel like I usually have more to say preceding the 32nd-ranked team blurb.

Giphy Images.

32. Detroit Lions (Last Week: 31)

Explain this to me: In two of his last five starts, Jared Goff has passed for 4 TDs. This past Sunday, he completed over 80% of his throws. Our guy STILL has a middling 90.6 passer rating for the season. Translation: Goff actually sucks, or is at best supremely inconsistent. Detroit ranks DFL in total yards allowed per game, too. A deserving NFL cellar dweller.

31. Houston Texans (Last Week: 30)

All the promising pieces on this roster are either rookies, still super young or, in Brandin Cooks' case, will be dangled as trade bait leading up to the deadline. I'm not convinced Lovie Smith will be the head coach next year. Not convinced Davis Mills is the answer at quarterback. Looks pretty damn bleak for Houston at the minute.

30. Denver Broncos (Last Week: 27)

The whole Russell Wilson high knees thing on the plane over to London…just weird man. Is he trolling us at this point? Nathaniel Hackett may be left on the tarmac if Denver loses to Jacksonville. You gotta feel for the Broncos' defense. They're playing their hearts out and getting zero help from Mr. Unlimited.

29. Carolina Panthers (Last Week: 32)

Had you told me before the season that the Panthers would be one game out of first place entering Week 8, I would've believed you. HOW they've gotten there — fired head coach, Baker Mayfield blowing, trading Christian McCaffrey — and just how trivial and dubious of an achievement that is? Utterly ridiculous. Third-string QB PJ Walker just knocked off the Bucs in Tampa — and actually made Ben McAdoo's scheme look borderline competent for a game. For real, Walker played great. Huge opportunity coming up against the Falcons this Sunday.

28. New Orleans Saints (Last Week: 25)

Last Thursday night, Andy Dalton threw two pick-sixes in one of the most nightmarish two-possession sequences I've seen from a quarterback. The Red Rifle hasn't had his full complement of weapons to throw to, yet other than gifting the Cardinals two free trips to the end zone, has held his own under center. Red flag: After being at/near the top of the NFL in yards allowed per rush attempt the prior two seasons, New Orleans is yielding 4.6 per carry on the year, including 5.7 over their last three outings. WOOF.

27. Pittsburgh Steelers (Last Week: 24)

Moving from Mitch Trubisky to Kenny Pickett took long enough for Mike Tomlin. Moving off offensive coordinator Matt Canada is taking an eternity comparatively speaking. Tomlin needs a better play-caller to scheme up the offense, because it's not like the Steelers lack talent at the skill positions. They're stocked up with plenty of young playmakers. The jury is still out on whether Pickett is the guy or not, but he's not getting much help from Canada.

26. Indianapolis Colts (Last Week: 20)

Matt Ryan getting benched is hilarious. I say it almost every single time I write about the Colts: Do y'all still want to crown Chris Ballard as Executive of the Year? Seems like he earns that award before every season begins, only for Indy to do fucking nothing except be mediocre. Unless Sam Ehlinger turns into something, Jim Irsay should consider cleaning house and getting a new GM-coach tandem. This patchwork, stopgap QB strategy ain't it.

25. Cleveland Browns (Last Week: 23)

Nick Chubb is the frontrunner for the NFL rushing title and good for him managing to do that with Jacoby Brissett as his quarterback. The Browns showed some fight and almost beat the Ravens in Baltimore. Alas, Cleveland has sunk to 2-5 amid four straight defeats. Wonder what their fans are saying. "Hurry back, Deshaun Watson!" Hmm, probably not that. Tough spot to be. Browns fans, don't feel bad about abandoning ship. How much of such a toxic, parasitic fandom relationship can you take!?

24. Washington Commanders (Last Week: 28)

Taylor Heinicke provided the Commanders offense with the shot in the arm they needed to upset Green Bay. Can the beloved backup QB keep it going? He was handed the keys in 2021 and fell way short of expectations. Heinicke's career is on the line, and he has a lot of capable pass-catchers to throw to. A win at Indianapolis would (improbably) pull Washington back to .500.

23. Atlanta Falcons (Last Week: 18)

I can't imagine it's fun to play for Arthur Smith. Can respect his ability to scheme and innovate. At the same time, how the fuck is Kyle Pitts not getting the ball more? Is that all Marcus Mariota's fault? I don't know. Smith's personality just kinda seems like it sucks. I know this isn't the most sophisticated analysis. Something is working in Atlanta to have the Falcons tied for first in the NFC South, even at a 3-4 record. I just don't know what to make of this Falcons team. Congrats on the 6-1 record vs. the spread…?

22. Arizona Cardinals (Last Week: 26)

DeAndre Hopkins' return is so huge. You can tell the type of leadership he brings and how key his calming, veteran presence is for his child of a quarterback Kyler Murray. It was Hopkins cooling Kyler down on the sidelines when he blew up at Kliff Kingsbury. Kyler is one of the easiest athletes to dislike that I can remember given his talent level. Can't wait to see how this chaotic group functions on the road in Minnesota.

21. Jacksonville Jaguars (Last Week: 21)

Just for fun I wanted to check on the Jaguars' "Luck Rating" for the season. According to TeamRankings.com, they're 31st, aka second-unluckiest. Makes sense. My point here is Jacksonville feels way better than their 2-5 record suggests. You won't be surprised to know the 6-1 Giants are No. 1 in that luck stat. The Jags had the G-Men on the ropes in Week 7, only to come up one yard short of the goal line for the win as time expired. Travis Etienne had a fumble into the end zone for a touchback earlier on as well. Only a matter of time before fortune smiles more favorably on Trevor Lawrence, Doug Pederson and Co.

20. Los Angeles Chargers (Last Week: 15)

What a season from Satan's asshole the Chargers are having. Are we really surprised anymore? They're among the most star-crossed sports franchises of my lifetime. Injuries are piling up EVERYWHERE. Brandon Staley paces the sidelines as if he's crop dusting everyone with the fart/anal gland secretion-smelling combination decisions he makes during games. Their offensive coordinator is Vince Lombardi's grandson — not joking — and he's sabotaging Justin Herbert's development. Make it all stop. Bad Bolts vibes everywhere. Someone help Justin Herbert.

19. Green Bay Packers (Last Week: 17)

Speaking of bad vibes, for fuck's sake, Aaron Rodgers couldn't be more of an aging curmudgeon if he tried. Apparently too balls-deep into his self-love, not enough into, you know, being a good, positive teammate. Rodgers is publicly criticizing his head coach to boot. Green Bay's defense hasn't met expectations either. Feels like it's getting late early for the Packers to catch the Vikings atop the NFC North. Traveling to Buffalo this weekend won't make matters easier.

18. Los Angeles Rams (Last Week: 16)

I hope the reigning Super Bowl champs are healthier coming off their bye. They have to be. And maybe Allen Robinson can use his previous game and the idle time as a springboard to be that viable WR2 the Rams hoped he'd be opposite Cooper Kupp. Hosting the 49ers in a marquee NFC West showdown in Week 8 should set a strong tone for how both those teams' fates will play out. Were I a Rams fan, I'd be hella nervous.

17. New England Patriots (Last Week: 5)

That 33-14 defeat on Monday at home against the Bears of all teams was among the most shocking developments I can recall. I had no problem prematurely crowning the Patriots last week, because Bill Belichick has built up that sort of equity during his legendary tenure. Now all of a sudden, New England has an actual QB controversy between Mac Jones and Bailey Zappe. Chicago ran all over them for 243 yards. The Pats are last in the AFC East. WTF is going on!?

16. Chicago Bears (Last Week: 29)

I'm genuinely curious: Did the proverbial lightbulb flick on for Justin Fields? Belichick typically feasts on first- and second-year QBs. Fields pretty much destroyed the Patriots in their house. He looked as comfortable from the pocket and as in command of the offense as I've ever seen him as a pro. The NFL is better when the Bears are good. They've never had a signal-caller with Fields' physical gifts. Please, football gods: keep Justin Fields healthy. Chicago being this frisky at 3-4 is among the most intriguing, out-of-nowhere plot twists to the season so far. PS…please read below re: Fields and his noteworthy contemporaries.

15. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Last Week: 11)

When the Bucs won the Super Bowl in Tom Brady's first Tampa season, they were pretty out of sorts until a late bye week. Once that hit, they didn't look back and didn't lose the rest of the way. A 3-4 start isn't ideal, nor is the turmoil in TB12's personal life. However, should Tampa Bay pull off a "W" over the Ravens to kick off Week 8, that'll provide huge momentum entering a mini-bye of sorts and we could see the Bucs band together for a strong second half of the season.

14. Las Vegas Raiders (Last Week: 19)

You are what your record says you are blah blah blah. The 2-4 Raiders could very, very easily be 5-1 were it not for a blown 17-0 lead at Kansas City, an unfathomable collapse vs. Arizona and an abysmal defensive first half at Tennessee. Despite playing on the road for four of their next five games, Las Vegas should be favored in most or even all of those contests. Josh Jacobs ranks third in rushing, which is a luxury QB Derek Carr hasn't really had before that I can recall. Tied for a league-low nine sacks, the Raiders must find a way to generate pressure to vault even higher in the rankings and to keep winning.

13. Seattle Seahawks (Last Week: 22)

That whole "out-of-nowhere plot twist" thing I said about the Bears? How about the fucking first-place Seattle Seahawks? Holy ever-loving shit is that bonkers. GENO SMITH is playing like a legitimate MVP candidate. Over the last two weeks, it seems like Seattle's defense is beginning to find its stride. Imagine if they actually kept Bobby Wagner!! Rookie tailback Kenneth Walker III is unbelievable, too, along with most of the team's 2022 draft class. Love these Seahawks.

12. New York Jets (Last Week: 14)

Think about how scary the Jets would be with a good quarterback. Yup, I'm saying it. Zach Wilson isn't one at this point. I expected more out of the No. 2 overall pick to this point. Then again, injuries have stunted his growth, so he's only now completed a full season's worth of starts. What I do know is, these Jets are buying into Robert Saleh. They're defending at a top-10 level. Sucks that they lost running back Breece Hall to a torn ACL. Let's see how that changes the offense and whether it creates an opportunity where Wilson can rise to the occasion.

11. Miami Dolphins (Last Week: 13)

Crazy how Miami's DB room is so injured and how so many unheralded Dolphins have stepped up to keep them on track. A lingering issue is the offensive line, which Pro Football Focus rates as the worst pass-blocking unit. Combine that with a bottom-four rushing attack, and it's a wonder Mike McDaniel has coached the Fins to a winning record to date. McDaniel is undefeated when Tua Tagovailoa starts and finishes a game. I'm impressed Miami has kept the ship afloat amid so much chaos and a three-game losing streak with Tua sidelined.

10. Minnesota Vikings (Last Week: 10)

OK, Vikings. You're not used to this type of 5-1 success. How will you handle it? Will you come out of the bye gates firing when you host the Cardinals, or be flat against an inferior opponent? I don't intentionally try to poke holes in teams who get off to hot starts. I just don't know about buying a ton of Minnesota stock. Feels like their ceiling still may not translate to a win in the postseason.

9. Tennessee Titans (Last Week: 12)

So many first-year coaches are doing a spectacular job that Mike Vrabel rallying the Titans from a 0-2 start to four consecutive wins is getting lost in the shuffle. I speak for most in the national media/sports talking game when I say it's not much fun to talk about Tennessee. To their credit, here they are again, first place in the AFC South, overcoming adversity and just kinda hanging around. You gotta love their collective tenacity. That identity is reflected in workhorse back Derrick Henry and in the trenches on D.

8. San Francisco 49ers (Last Week: 6)

That trade for Christian McCaffrey is going to pay huge dividends down the stretch of the regular season. San Francisco is going to get healthier thanks to a much-needed bye following Sunday's clash with the Rams. McCaffrey gets invaluable time to dive into Kyle Shanahan's dense playbook. Too much talent everywhere on this team to write them off even with how ugly that 44-23 loss to the Chiefs was. My innate reservations about Jimmy Garoppolo still exist.

7. Baltimore Ravens (Last Week: 8)

Lamar Jackson badly needs Rashod Bateman to remain in the lineup. Injuries have hampered the 2021 first-round wideout during his young career. The Ravens don't have many other guys to count on in their receiving corps. Not ideal in the modern NFL, even with a one-of-one runner like Jackson at the controls. Baltimore makes a baffling amount of mistakes in coverage for having so many capable players on the back end. I've found it prudent to give the Ravens the benefit of the doubt that they'll figure shit out. Going back to that well again here.

6. New York Giants (Last Week: 7)

I faded the G-Men against Jacksonville. They had no business winning that game. What matters is that they did. I still give the Giants their due respect in the power rankings. You don't go 6-1 by total luck and happenstance. That said, this is the most random, weird, impossible to believe 6-1 team I've ever seen in the NFL. They have a Week 9 bye and get to face the two worst teams in these rankings, Detroit and Houston, on the other side of it AT HOME. What a world.

5. Cincinnati Bengals (Last Week: 9)

The entire Bengals season before Sunday's steamrolling of the Falcons was baffling to witness for the most part. Then comes this Atlanta team who's perfect against the spread and may somehow knock us off. But nope. Joey B., Ja'Marr, Tyler Boyd, Tee Higgins…everybody ATE. I'm aware the Falcons' secondary got really thin. I don't care. Also aware there will be more adversity and Cincy is not in playoff form just yet. Need to see more. What a huge step forward Week 7 was, though.

4. Dallas Cowboys (Last Week: 4)

First in sacks, second in turnover margin, and fourth in passing yards allowed — mostly with Cooper Rush playing the most important position on the other side of the ball. Yes, this Cowboys team is for real. Dak Prescott is now back. Although he's pretty fucking mid for someone making so much money, he's a savvy vet who knows how to distribute the ball. At this point I feel like Dak just needs to be a competent game manager to deliver Dallas a playoff victory.

3. Philadelphia Eagles (Last Week: 2)

Undefeated and still only No. 3? Yup. No disrespect to Jalen Hurts at all, but when most things are equal, I'm usually going to give the nod to the team with the superior QB. Still, I can't wait to see what pass-rushing extraordinaire Robert Quinn adds to an already-stacked Philly defensive front after arriving in a trade from Chicago.

2. Kansas City Chiefs (Last Week: 3)

What a win over the 49ers the Chiefs just put together. Hanging six touchdowns on THAT defense? Damn. I realize San Francisco is licking its wounds a little bit with some banged-up players, yet this was just a firm reminder that Patrick Mahomes and this offense has adapted and thrived despite the loss of Tyreek Hill. Hard to believe you can lose the NFL's current leading receiver and still be this dominant.

1. Buffalo Bills (Last Week: 1)

Coming off a bye to face the Packers on Sunday night, Buffalo is a double-digit home favorite. What once could've seemed like a Super Bowl preview matchup is instead expected to be a Bills blowout. Between how sound Buffalo is defensively and how stupid talented Josh Allen is, this is the most complete team in the league. Buffalo will likely top my rankings until another loss happens.

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Matt Fitzgerald10/27/2022 4:45 PM