4th of July Collection | Now Available at the Barstool StoreSHOP HERE

Advertisement

Watch: Drunkest Guy On The Planet Tried To Take An Uber To The Strip Club And His Driver Documented The Whole Thing On TikTok

When's the last time you got drunk? Not buzzed, I'm talking DRUNK. Shit-faced, buckled, mangled, plastered - however you want to say it. For me it's been a while, but there was a time in my life where I would get legless. Legless to the point where I would occasionally wake up in a taxi and thank my lucky stars that the driver didn't rob me or worse. Luckily I've outgrown that phase, but I can't say the same for this fella. I mean look at him...

.

.

.

Neck jacked at forty-five degree angle, hands awkwardly stacked on top of each other. The thing is, you know he's hearing everything too, he's just too drunk to react. His body and mind are now completely separate entities.

Regardless, that guy is the luckiest man on earth. Not only did he get an Uber driver who thought the whole thing was funny, he got two sets of cops who instead of arresting him, helped him get home…which will undoubtedly make him a repeat offender. Oh well. At least he's not in jail, right? It reminds me of that video where the drunk college kid woke up in the wrong house and didn't get shot…

.

.

.

Which just goes to show that there are still good people out there. Anyway, let this blog serve as a friendly reminder to keep things under control this weekend. Have fun, but don't pass out/wake up somewhere you shouldn't. Happy Hallo-Kween.