A Cat Was Sworn In As Mayor Of A Town In Southern Italy Last Week And Now She's Facing Allegation Of Rampant Voter Fraud. No, Seriously.

Dailystar - A cat has been appointed the mayor of an Italian town and will remain in office for a year. Surprisingly, Miao is not the first feline mayor in Italy. Gravellona Lomellina, Lombardy Region, northern Italy has had a feline mayor tradition dating back to 2005.

The feline appears to have found itself in hot water after opposition parties alleged, seriously, that the cat had participated in a form of election rigging following its victorious campaign. Such a campaign sees the newly appointed Mayor Miao in place as "mayor of the animals " for the next year, but some are unconvinced by the accuracy of the election results.

Miao's position as "mayor of the cats" in the Abruzzo Region of southern Italy was hit back with claims of election fraud and rigged voting systems. Civita d’Antino deputy mayor Matteo Dio Fabio swore in the feline, who looked surprisingly dignified with their Italian tricolour ribbon adorned to the newly-elected official.

But claims of nepotism and election fraud have plagued the controversial cat, as it was revealed the feline is the pet cat of Dio Fabio's daughter. Miao takes the reigns of public office in what marks the fourth feline member of government for the Italian region.

Did the Italians do it again or did the Italians do it again?

We owe a lot to the ancient Romans. They invented modern plumbing, aqueducts, and sewer systems. They invented surgical procedures and surgical instruments. Concrete. The archway. The Julian calendar. The postal system. 

Modern Italians are responsible for gifting the world such luxuries as the radio, denim jeans, the piano, and of course pizza. Just to name a few of the things. 

And now we can add perhaps their greatest addition to society to the list: Feline Political Leadership.

I'll be totally honest with you all... I know this is going to come as a shock to most of you, but I'm not too keen on most of the politicians in our country. Haven't been for quite some time. Namely most of America's major city's mayors. Namely Chicago's. 

As my hero George Carlin so eloquently put it more than two decades ago, we have nobody to blame for this but ourselves. Because, "garbage in, garbage out" 

We can go back and forth swinging the pendulum across the aisle from red to blue every 2 years in the midterms and presidential elections, wondering why nothing ever changes and we're always left holding the short end of the stick in one hand and our dicks in the other. 

OR

We can actually change some shit up around here. And we can do that by electing our first feline political leader.

Hear me out, hear me out before you get your panties in a bunch.

As Jack Burns taught us, as fucking amazing as dogs might be, they are emotionally shallow animals. They're easy to break. 

Not so with cats.

They make you work for their affection.

If you ran a dog candidate, that good old boy or girl would be best friends with every Tom, Dick, and Harry that came down the block. They'd be owing even more political favors once elected than even the most corrupt politicians. It'd be like Putin with all his oligarchs.

Advertisement

Cats, not so much. 

They're what some people might call bitchy. Or stuck up. Anti-social. And independent. 

They're also pretty damn smart. 

So as funny as this story might have sounded at first, with those crazies in southern Italy doing southern Italian things, it's actually not so nuts.

I don't know about you, but I'm in. 

p.s. - get the fuck out of my face with the voting fraud allegations. No shit Dio Fabio rigged that shit for his daughter. Duh. There's a reason our technology today is so advanced we can fire rockets to the moon using a tiny device in our pockets, yet we're still casting votes the same way they did back in the 1700s.