What an insane 3 days. I've never spent so many consecutive hours awake and alert for anyone in my life...anyone, but Taylor Alison Swift.
Here's how it went down:
Thursday Night Football
We got the teaser trailer for the Anti-hero/other secret project videos. We had a bunch of idiots online thinking that having Taylor do a 5 minute spot on TNF wasn't the complete ratings spike that Amazon paid for. Regular Sunday football gets about 19 million viewers a weekend - Thursday night? After a good opening weekend of 15 million, we're now down to 10 million. They needed some juice.
Who better to force into watching a super shitty game than a bunch of bloodthirsty Swifties that probably already have Prime accounts so they could watch Fleabag? No brainer. The teaser was amazing, our mouths were left agape, and we continued the Countdown to Midnight.
Friday - MIDNIGHT
BOOM. Right out of the gate Taylor crashes Spotify. Apple Music still worked but was seriously lagging. I couldn't start listening until around 12:10, and in those ten minutes, I was one more error message away from DMing Spotify and telling them to turn on their fucking brains. Truly, how does this still happen? How is technology still UNPREPARED for drops like these? Morons. More on the album later (a full lyric breakdown).
Friday - 3am
OH SHIT! CHAOTIC SURPRISE TIME! Everyone thought it was going to be another album or one of the rerecorded albums. Turns out it was SEVEN MORE SONGS for Midnights. Arguably some of the best on the album as a whole. Taylor has appropriately dubbed this iteration, "Midnights - 3am Edition." We bow down.
Friday - 8am
ANTI-HERO video drops. Outrageous video, amazing cinematography, overwhelming self awareness. People are saying its a mix between 1989 and Reputation with the writing of Folklore/Evermore, and I agree. The video also features a little skit with Mike Birbiglia and John Early playing her sons, and Mary Elizabeth Ellis (the waitress from Always Sunny) as her daughter in law fighting over Taylor's will at her funeral. Hilarious.
What was I doing while this video dropped? Oh, just wandering around a Target in TriBeCa because I got a tip that Taylor would be there. Spoiler - she did not show up. But, fellow major Swiftie Feitelberg and I made a pretty good vlog out of it anyway:
Since then, I took a nap, moved out of my apartment, and did nothing but listen to the new album in preparation for this blog.
MIDNIGHTS - LYRIC BREAKDOWN
I expected this album to be angsty, a little all over the place, and really full of emotion. We got exactly that. After 3 days of listening, I can't honestly say I skip any of the tracks. I have favorites for sure, but wow. Hit after hit. And if you don't LOVE the sound of the song? The lyrics pull you back in. My favorite part. Let's get into some of the best.
Off the top it's a BOP. Lyrically it isn't one of my favorites, but a few lines stick out:
Staring at the ceiling with you
Oh, you don't ever say too much
And you don't really read into
I'm obsessed with the word "melancholy" and the idea of melancholia always dates back to the times of Kings and Queens and knights. It also made me think of one of my favorite sad movies starring our Medieval Queen herself, Kirsten Dunst, "Melancholia." Melancholy is such a perfect way to talk about depression, with a little flair.
All they keep asking me (All they keep asking me)
Is if I'm gonna be your bride
The only kinda girl they see (Only kinda girl they see)
Is a one-night or a wife
There goes my girl again bitching about society's antiquated views on relationships and marriage! It's not black and white, we're in the LAVENDER HAZEEEEE.
Love it. LOVE IT. Any song that mentions New York I'm automatically going to love, but this one has the energy of excitement and hope that turns into annoyance and frustration, and feels overwhelmingly relatable:
When the morning came
We were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf
'Cause we lost track of time again
Laughing with my feet in your lap
Like you were my closest friend
"How'd we end up on the floor, anyway?" you say
"Your roommate's cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that's how"
I see you every day now
Taylor just describing moments that have happened in my life.
And I chose you
The one I was dancing with
In New York, no shoes
Looked up at the sky and it was
The burgundy on my t-shirt
When you splashed your wine into me
And how the blood rushed into my cheeks
So scarlet, it was
The mark you saw on my collarbone
The rust that grew bеtween telephones
The lips I used to call home
So scarlet, it was maroon
I want to put every lyric from this song in this blog. The storytelling here is so, so perfect. For those who have experienced fall in New York with someone where things were constantly on and off and things burn out quickly, this one is for you.
When the silence came
We were shaking, blind and hazy
How the hell did we lose sight of us again?
Sobbing with your head in your hands
Ain't that the way shit always ends?
You were standing hollow-eyed in the hallway
Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us
I feel you, no matter what
The rubies that I gave up
Isn't that always how it ends, f'real? Burn bright, die young.
Another song written for me. I'm sorry! We are the same!!
I have this thing where I get older, but just never wiser
Midnights become my afternoons
When my depression works the graveyard shift, all of the people
I've ghosted stand there in the room
FUCKING SCREAM ITTTTTTT! It's 1:30am as I type this!!! Midnight has ALWAYS been my afternoon.
It's me, hi
I'm the problem, it's me
At teatime, everybody agrees
I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero
Here we get into the seriously self aware part of the song. Acknowledging that it's me, Hi, I'm the problem, it's me. I'd rather burn my eyes out than look at who I really am.
Sometimes, I feel like everybody is a sexy baby
And I'm a monster on the hill
Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city
Pierced through the heart, but never killed
People are NOT getting this sexy baby line, but I love it. I think this girl summed it up perfectly:
Right on the money. Another thing I identify with, feeling huge. Being a tall girl (I'm not THAT TALL but I'm in a top percentile) has always been a fucking problem. You feel like a giant. Sometimes if I'm not feeling confident I'll talk myself out of wearing heels so I won't "make other people feel small." Other days I wear as high as I can and stop their throats.
Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism
Like some kind of congressman?
(A tale as old as time)
UNREAL line. I think more people need to admit to covert narcissism disguised as altruism.
I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money
She thinks I left them in the will
The family gathers 'round and reads it
And then someone screams out
"She's laughing up at us from hell"
This is the dream right? Cutting off your spoiled brat kids from an inheritance and leaving it all to some cats? Hilarious.
Snow On The Beach (ft Lana Del Rey)
This is far and away my least favorite track. Pretty sure there is zero Lana singing? The sound is fine, and there are still good lyrics, but it's very meh for me.
I (I) can't (Can't) speak, afraid to jinx it
I (I) don't (Don't) even dare to wish it
But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet
Now I'm all for you like Janet
Can this be a real thing? Can it?
Best part is this Janet Jackson shoutout. I used to listen to my Now CD in my walkman in the night when I was younger, "All For You" on repeat. LOVE Janet.
You're On Your Own Kid
Tears. Lots of them. Any time Taylor references being young and having to take on a lot of difficult emotions and dissapointments at a young age, I'm crying.
From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes
I waited ages to see you there
I search the party of better bodies
Just to learn that you never cared
You're on your own, kid
You always have been
Dagger to the heart. This song gives me vibes like it could've been on Speak Now.
I see the great escape, so long, Daisy Mae
I picked the petals, he loves me not
Something different bloomed, writing in my room
I play my songs in the parking lot
I'll run away
Turning heartbreak into a creative outlet, that's what our girl does best! I also like to think that "so long Daisy Mae" is a nod to "Goodbye to Sandra Dee" a la Grease. A pointed moment in time where youthful innocence and ignorance is lost, now it's time to grow up.
OOOOOO man this one gets me good. Incredible beat, pretty sexy, and she's talking about how she wants more to life than to settle down and compromise the future she wants for herself for someone who isn't on the same page.
He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain
He wanted a bride, I was making my own name
Chasing that fame, he stayed the same
All of me changed like midnight
I wanted that pain!!! She wanted a challenge, to push herself to who she wanted to be, not to be content with who she was.
My boy was a montage
A slow-motion, love potion
Jumping off things in the ocean
I broke his heart 'cause he was nice
He was sunshine, I was midnight rain
The juxtaposition! He was nice. He was sunshine. She was NOT, she was that rainstorm in the night. Strong and unrelenting, causing a disruption.
YES YES YES YES YES. This song fights daily to be my #1 and it damn well might be. Another song hinting heavily at your own shortcomings, not being able to trust and let things lie.
Good girl, sad boy
Big city, wrong choices
We had one thing goin' on
I swear that it was somethin'
'Cause I don't remember who I was
Before you painted all my nights
A color I've searched for since
But one thing after another
Fuckin' situations, circumstances
Miscommunications and I
Have to say, by the way
I just may like some explanations
This is very "what are we?" Nobody knows what the boundaries are, overthinking, self sabotaging.
Did you lеave her house in the middle of the night? Oh
Did you wish you'd put up more of a fight, oh
When she said it was too much?
Do you wish you could still touch her?
It's just a question
It's NEVER just a question, we all know that by now.
Half-moon eyes, bad surprise
Did you realize out of time?
She was on your mind with some dickhead guy
That you saw that night
But you were on somethin'
It was one drink after another
Fuckin' politics and gender roles
And you're not sure and I don't know
Got swept away in the grey
I just may like to have a conversation
The perfect description of a night out when everyone's just sick of each other. There's some tension in the air and it has to be addressed, but before it is, all we see is the worst in everything they're saying. BRAVA MS SWIFT, BRAVA
ANTHEMMMMMM. LOVE this one. Just a bad ass song, rumors are flying around that it's a direct shot at Scooter Braun, which would make a lot of sense with lyrics like these:
I don't dress for women
I don't dress for men
Lately, I've been dressin' for revenge
I don't start shit, but I can tell you how it ends
Don't get sad, get even
So on the weekends
I don't dress for friends
Lately, I've been dressin' for revenge
YES YES YES
She needed cold, hard proof, so I gave her some
She had the envelope, where you think she got it from?
Now she gets the house, gets the kids, gets the pride
Picture me thick as thieves with your ex-wife
And she looks so pretty
Drivin' in your Benz
Lately, she's been dressin' for revenge
Something about the way she sings "and she looks so pretty" gives me vibes that she's like "yea, I told her everything, and I might fuck her too!"
Ladies always rise above
Ladies know what people want
Someone sweet and kind and fun
The lady simply had enough
THE LADIES HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!!!
And one more shoutout where she talks about cocaine:
While he was doin' lines and crossin' all of mine
Someone told his white-collar crimes to the FBI
And I don't dress for villains
Or for innocents
I'm on my vigilante shit again
This is a great song. Definitely old Taylor sounding, perfect for dancing and pregaming with the girlies:
Best believe I'm still bejeweled
When I walk in the room
I can still make the whole place shimmer
And when I meet the band
They ask, "Do you have a man?"
I could still say, "I don't remember"
Familiarity breeds contempt
Don't put mе in the basement
Whеn I want the penthouse of your heart
Diamonds in my eyes
I polish up real, I polish up real nice
DONT PUT ME IN THE BASEMENT WHEN I WANT THE PENTHOUSE OF YOUR HEART!!! SCREAM IT
Baby boy, I think I've been too good of a girl (Too good of a girl)
Did all the extra credit, then got graded on a curve
I think it's time to teach some lessons
I made you my world (Huh), have you heard? (Huh)
I can reclaim the land
And I miss you (Miss you)
But I miss sparklin' (Nice)
Babe, I made you!!! And I can take it away just as easily!!! I love "supremely confident" Taylor. She knows she's the fucking best and she knows YOU know it, too.
Sapphire tears on my face
Sadness became my whole sky
But some guy said my aura's moonstone
Just 'cause he was high
Love the imagery with Sapphire. I also love when Taylor talks about drugs.
Another HUGE favorite of mine. All about the fear of falling in love because you're worried about how it's going to end, and even worse, if it'll be your fault. It's not something you automatically feel excited about, the immediate reaction is "oh, no."
"It only hurts this much right now"
Was what I was thinkin' the whole time
Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out
I'll be gettin' over you my whole life
Uh-oh, I'm fallin' in love
Oh no, I'm fallin' in love again
Oh, I'm fallin' in love
I thought the plane was goin' down
How'd you turn it right around?
You know how much I hate
That everybody just expects me to bounce back
Just like that
I especially love that last one - everybody just expects me to bounce back just like that. Shit takes time! Healing is hard! Patience is key!!
ANOTHER BANGER. A love poem to Karma!!! You've got nothing to worry about when it comes to Karma if you're not doing anything wrong!
You're talking shit for the hell of it
Addicted to betrayal, but you're relevant
You're terrified to look down
'Cause if you dare, you'll see the glare
Of everyone you burned just to get there
It's coming back around
'Cause karma is my boyfriend
Karma is a god
Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend
Karma's a relaxing thought
Aren't you envious that for you it's not?
Sweet like honey, karma is a cat
Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me
Flexing like a goddamn acrobat
Me and karma vibe like that
Obsessed with this narrative change. Who loses sleep over Karma when they keep their nose clean?
Most adorable song in the world. Written with Joe, it made me want to be in the deepest of love SO BAD. Giving me big "It's nice to have a friend" vibes from the Lover album. I could gush over it all day.
They said the end is comin'
Everyone’s up to somethin'
I find myself runnin' home to your sweet nothings
Outside, they’re push and shovin'
You're in the kitchen hummin'
All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothin'
All they ever want is for you to be vulnerable and love them!!!
On the way home
I wrote a poem
You say, "What a mind"
This happens all the time
A MAN WHO APPRECIATES HIS WOMAN'S CREATIVITY, SOBBING. Sweet in the name, sweet in substance. Absolutely love it.
KNOCK KNOCK oh it's just another fucking BANGER at the door! Not in the sense that it's a clubby tune, but the lyrics here are incredible. All about how nothing happens by chance when it comes to a mastermind, who has orchestrated every move to end up exactly where she is today.
Once upon a time, the planets and the fates
And all the stars aligned
You and I ended up in the same room
At the same time
And the touch of a hand lit the fuse
Of a chain reaction of countermoves
To assess the equation of you
Checkmate, I couldn't lose
That confidence is here!!!
What if I told you none of it was accidental?
And the first night that you saw me
Nothing was gonna stop me
I laid the groundwork, and then
Just like clockwork
The dominoes cascaded in a line
What if I told you I'm a mastermind?
And now you're mine
It was all by dеsign
'Cause I'm a mastermind
You see, all the wisеst women
Had to do it this way
'Cause we were born to be the pawn
In every lover's game
Okay so - smart girls go for what they want, because they have to, and they're geniuses about getting it. BINGO!
No one wanted to play with me as a little kid
So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since
To make them love me and make it seem effortless
This is the first time I've felt the need to confess
And I swear
I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian
'Cause I care
Love don't always come easy, or whatever they say. Sometimes you have to plan to long con - set up all the pieces, make your moves, and win.
The Great War
This one hasn't totally grown on me yet. It gives me vibes of Seven from Folklore with all of the war references, though it's clearly about a love story.
My knuckles were bruised like violets
Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked
Spineless in my tomb of silence
Tore your banners down, took the battle underground
All that bloodshed, crimson clover
Uh-huh, sweet dream was over
My hand was the one you reached for
All throughout the Great War
Uh-huh, tears on the lеtter
I vowed not to cry anymore
If wе survived the Great War
You drew up some good faith treaties
I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone
You said I have to trust more freely
But diesel is desire, you were playing with fire
And maybe it's the past that's talking
TONS of war analogies. The sound is good, so I'll put it above Snow on the Beach, but I still need some time to appreciate this one.
Bigger Than The Whole Sky
More sobs. Wow, what a song. I've also heard its about experiencing a miscarriage - not necessarily Taylor's but the feeling one gets when that happens. Even more sobs.
No words appear before me in the aftermath
Salt streams out my eyes and into my ears
Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness
'Cause it's all over now, all out to sea
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
You were bigger than the whole sky
You were more than just a short time
And I've got a lot to pine about
I've got a lot to live without
I'm never gonna meet
What could've been, would've been
What should've been you
What could've been, would've been you
Full body chills.
Did some bird flap its wings ovеr in Asia?
Did some force take you bеcause I didn't pray?
Every single thing to come has turned into ashes
'Cause it's all over, it's not meant to be
So I'll say words I don't believe
Just googled and Storks are native to Asia. I'm blubbering. Just so, so sad from that lens.
I have dubbed this one "fun and cute." It's not on repeat, but I like it in the rotation.
I'm so in love that I might stop breathing
Drew a map on your bedroom ceiling
No, I didn't see the news
'Cause we were somewhere else
Stumbled down pretend alleyways
Cheap wine, make believe it's champagne
I was taken by the view
The whole point is that they're not actually in Paris, but disassociating from the mundane reality. I can get down with that.
I wanna brainwash you
Into loving me forever
I wanna transport you
To somewhere the culture's clever
Confess my truth
In swooping, sloping, cursive letters
Let the only flashing lights be the tower at midnight
In my mind
She is GUSHINGGGGG over someone. Wants to scream it from the rooftops and write it in bubble letters all over her notebook. What a feeling.
Fights, lies, major blow ups. I love it. This one is allegedly about Calvin Harris and that makes it ALL the better.
Lock broken, slur spoken
Wound open, game token
I didn't know you were keeping count
Rain soaking, blind hoping
You said I was freeloading
I didn't know you were keeping count
Put on your records and regret me
I bent the truth too far tonight
I was dancing around, dancing around it
You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love
The slowest way is never loving them enough
Do you really wanna know where I was April 29th?
Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?
YOU WANNA KNOW WHERE IS WAS? I cheated on your dumb ass because you pretty much hate me! That's the vibe i get from this. Infidelity, yes, but with a purpose.
I LOVE this one too. The sound is great, lyrics are catchy, all about two people who are fooling around who probably shouldn't be for the better of things, but who cares.
We were supposed to be just friends
You don't live in my part of town, but maybe I'll see you out some weekend
Depending on what kind of mood and situationship I'm in
And what's in my system
I think there's been a glitch, oh, yeah
Five seconds later, I'm fastening myself to you with a stitch, oh, yeah
And I'm not even sorry, nights are so starry
It must be counterfeit
I think there's been a glitch, oh, yeah
There was a glitch in the matrix and whoops! We got obsessed with each other for a second there!
Would've Could've Should've
Ahhh, finally the one that's more than likely about John Mayer. I actually don't think it makes him look that bad, CERTAINLY not on the level of Jake Gyllenhaal hatred anyway.
If you would've blinked, then I would've
Looked away at the first glance
If you tasted poison, you could've
Spit me out at the first chance
And if I was some paint, did it splatter
On a promising grown man?
And if I was a child, did it matter
If you got to wash your hands?
I would've stayed on my knees
And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil
And the God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven
And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts
Memories feel like weapons
And now that I know, I wish you'd left me wondering
Textbook "I knew deep down this was going to be a fucking disaster, but you definitely knew that and continued to fuck with me, and that's what's fucked up."
God rest my soul
I miss who I used to be
The tomb won't close
Stained glass windows in my mind
I regret you all the time
Dagger to the heart. "I regret you all the time." Sure, maybe at 19 it seemed fun and exciting, but now you have to live with the pain of it in every step you take forward. OUCHHHH.
I still need some time with this one too, but the basic message I get is, don't take advice from broken people because their view is jaded. Only you can figure out what's right.
Dear reader, if it feels like a trap
You're already in one
Dear reader, get out your map
Pick somewhere and just run
Dear reader, burn all the files
Desert all your past lives
And if you don't recognize yourself
That means you did it right
Never take advice from someone who's falling apart
Never take advice from someone who's falling apart (You should find another)
Classic pessimism and cynicism passed along by someone who has been hurt too many times. Preach, sister.
What a masterpiece. The numbers aren't lying either:
It's really unfathomable. Or, is it? The music is always 10/10. The marketing is always 10/10. Taylor's fans are ride or die. Of course we put our Queen at the top every single time.
AND THE WEEK ISN'T OVER!!!!
Tonight, Taylor will be on Jimmy Fallon. During his show, Midnight on Tuesday, Taylor will be dropping her second "video." None of us know what it's going to be, but we saw about a million different costumes and clips from the Amazon TNFZ teaser. Some people are saying it could be a visual album like Beyonce's Lemonade, in which case I will have a stroke.
Meet you at Midnight (AGAIN!!!!!!!!)