On Wednesday night, I was leaving my apartment to go see a talent show at the Apollo Theatre. This is hard to explain, but I live in a 4th floor walk-up in Jersey City. When I walk down my stairs, there is a "thing" above the stairs that I always look at. It hangs above the stairs, and looks perfect to swing from. Every time I walk down my stairs, I'm like, "I should try to swing from that, and land at the bottom of my stairs".
I've always been too afraid to do it.
However, on Wednesday night, I had a few drinks. When I left my apartment, I was like, "Fuck it.", I'm going to swing down these stairs. I jumped from the stairs, swung from the "thing", and launched myself down the flight of stairs. I was so close. I should have made it. But I didn't quite clear the very last step. When I went to land, my right ankle caught the final stair, and I rolled it real good. I was in pain.
It was a lot of pain, but not too much. Again, I was on my way to see a talent show at the Apollo Theater in Harlem, and I was meeting Nick Turani, Wonton Don, and a handful of Wonton Don's friends. I'm not in a position to pass up making friends, so I toughed it out, and walked on it all night.
I had fun at the talent show. Great show. I had a blast.
I made it home fine. Then the next morning, I woke up, and I could barely walk. Like I could BARELY walk.
Worst part is, that morning, my girlfriend flew to California for a funeral. Meaning, for the next 5 days, I have to take care of 2 dogs by myself. With a VERY busted up ankle.
My ankle was quite fucked. I could barely walk. I have to take 2 dogs down 4 flights of stairs at least 3 times day (to go to the bathroom) for the next 5 days. So I'm in a bad spot.
I'm down pretty bad. Bad situation all around.
I should have stayed home and rested that next day, but it was Thursday, and I had to do the Rundown. I also had a meeting with Hank about some content. I had never met with Hank before, so I'm not about to tell him I can't make the meeting because I swung down a flight of stairs and fucked my ankle. So Thursday morning, I hobbled my ass from Jersey City to Barstool HQ.
I looked like a fucking idiot at the office. Everyone who passed me was like, "what happened to you blah blah blah" and I had to tell them the whole stupid story. It sucked.
I made it through Thursday. Then I went home that night, took care of the dogs, iced my ankle, and got some sleep.
Then the next morning (Friday/today), I woke up. I had fully planned on staying home all day. I was on my couch, writing this stupid fucking college football gambling blog that I don't know why I write.
But then, at 1pm, I decide to turn on The Yak. The Yak was having a "Henny Day" (Hennessy). They were inviting everyone in the office in to drink Henny. So I was like, "Aw damn, I should be involved in this, wouldn't it be funny if I limped into the office to drink Henny with the boys?"
So I grabbed an Uber. I had the Uber drop me off at a liquor store near the office. I bought more Henny, the brought it into the office (because I didn't want to be a mooch). Then I limped into the Yak with a small bottle of Henny, and a very swollen ankle.
I drank some Henny with the boys, and we discussed my ankle. EVERYBODY insisted I get my ankle checked out by a doctor. But here's the thing. I don't want to go to a doctor. I also don't know where my insurance card is. I'm very irresponsible. I avoid doctors at all costs. Plus, on top of that, my ankle feels a lot better. I'm walking way better now than I was yesterday. Sure it looks like, "the most broken ankle you've ever seen", but I'm not in too much pain. It's fairly tolerable. It's way better than it was yesterday. Which means it's improving, right?
But EVERYONE insists I should see a doctor.
KFC, on top of tweeting about it, went out of his way to DM me telling me to see a doctor.
Several people online told me I needed to see a doctor as well.
But guys!!! I swear!!! It's not that bad!!
Look at how great I'm walking!
To be fair, I did just chug half a bottle of Hennessy before I did that walk. Because It was Henny day on The Yak.
But fuck… Idk.. should I see a doctor? I really don't know. It feels fine now, but I also drank a lot of Henny, so that is probably helping. Also I have 2 dogs to take care of. I don't have time to have a broken ankle. If I just deny it long enough, then maybe it will fix itself. That's how I handle most problems. I just pretend they're not that bad, and a week later things usually resolve themselves.
Can you imaging if I had to get my foot amputated? That'd honestly be sick. That might be job security for life at Barstool. Would they ever fire someone who lost their foot while working for their company? I don't make that much money. They can afford to pay me a livable wage out of pity. Plus, disability money? I don't know how disability works, but if I lose a foot there's probably some money in that.
I guess the only thing I can do now is let the wheel decide. I'm a Yak fan at heart. The wheel is just. Whatever the wheel says is what I'm going to do.
Fuck a doctor