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Skell Of The Week Volume 3 ... Religious Edition

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NY Times- A renowned Baptist minister in Louisiana pleaded guilty this week to stealing nearly $900,000 from his church, its rental properties and a charter school, using schemes that personally enriched him as he defrauded his parishioners of their donations and deceived tenants and educators, the Justice Department said.

Federal prosecutors said that the minister, the Rev. Charles Southall III, who wields far-reaching influence as the head pastor of the First Emanuel Baptist churches in New Orleans and Baton Rouge, where elected officials and police chiefs have been known to worship, pleaded guilty to a money-laundering charge on Tuesday in U.S. District Court in the Eastern District of Louisiana.

“In total,” the Justice Department said in a news release, “Southall obtained approximately $889,565.86 through his fraudulent schemes.”

Back again (shoutout Troops my partner in the conquest to bring down an unnamed 40+ year old bald man with an agenda) with Skell of the week! This time we hit a hot button issue of religion. But  don't worry, I think we can all agree on this one. 

Rev. Charles Southall III,  the head pastor of the First Emanuel Baptist churches in New Orleans and Baton Rouge admitted to personally enriching himself while defrauding parishioners, schools, and educators. Of those parishioners were elected officials and cops. What a scumbag!

I have long said there are two religions, Catholic and Public. You don't have to research too far to figure out that in the Catholic religion a big staple is "Thou Shall Not Steal". Pretty clear rule, in fact they etched the words on stone for christ sakes. So for a holy roller like Charles Southall to not only steal but steal from the church ? What a skell ! Couldn't make it up if you tried. 

I also find a little humor in the situation of how Rev.Southall hid his money, or did he just blatantly flaunt it.Sunday mass, dude pulls up in an Armani suit and a Maybach as people just kiss his feet. Nobody thought wait a second ... this guy can afford this ? He lives in a rectory, where's he getting cash flow ? 

Growing up I went to Catholic School for 12 years and let me tell you I knew the nuns weren't taking a DIME from the church. Sr.Mary Jane drove a 1965 buggy in 1997 that sounded like an Alesso track when she started the thing and Sr.Mary Mark wore 1 pair of shoes for my entire 8 years of grade school. Amazing. 

Bonus shoutout to my catholic school for making Sr.Joanella a nurse. Looking back talking with my siblings there was absolutely no chance she was registered or qualified to help klds. Every time you went in there whether you were bleeding from the head or had a stubbed your toe, she would tell you lie down with cold compress on your head. We all just shut up and took it. Looking back I should have said, "Hey lady ... my stomach feels like it's going to explode and this cold compress ain't doing shit you think we can change it up? " Insane how it was allowed for so long and that the whole parish had parents who just accepted this little old woman was going to be in charge of their kids with no qualifications. I guess times were simpler back then. Also sometimes you stumble into a job you clearly aren't qualified for... like being 40+ bald man and just happening to know the wife of a future entrepreneur, leeching off that man for 20 years and then taking over the biggest social media management position in the country, despite providing little oversight to it and going to clubs while the boss is in a war. Shit happens. 

Back next week with another skell of the week. Hit me with submissions :